Joy of days gone by

The house once burst with joy

Now despair oozed through each seam

The walls that once echoed with laughter

Now entomb a stale and bitter scream

A door to a sunny day

Now only lead to rain

The kitchen table one filled with stories

Now was marred with knife scars of pain

A cheery lamp once spilling light

Now spewed broken glass and wire

The hot cocoa, the hearth the smiles,

Now sat ash, remnants from long put out fire

The joy that once abounded in this place

Was pure, and sweet and true

That was until one dreaded night

A singular heartbreak, an entire family slew

Author's Note

open and honest opinions are always welcome here

Reviews

[William Liston]

The antithetical style you used throughout this poem developed the point perfectly. This poem was, as you would say, "tangible." The contrast in each couplet painted a vivid, sullen picture in my mind, and the second couplet especially revealed the utmost melancholy with the words "entomb a stale and bitter scream." (I also loved your use of rhythm (trochaic) and meter (pentameter catalectic) in line four, even though I'm not sure if it was intentional). From the connotation of your words to the poem's smooth flow, this whole thing was great. Very nice.

[Death's Poet]

Thank you so much! Your reviews make my day! I'm glad it came across how I always want, haha tangible really is what I strive for. That's what makes poetry different from any other writing. It's supposed to make you feel. It's not a good poem if it doesnt make you think, or rip your heart out a little

[Nene]

I loved these lines!

A door to a sunny day
Now only lead to rain.

The hot cocoa, the hearth the smiles,
Now sat ash, remnants from long put out fire

[Nene]

That really went to the heart!!

[Death's Poet]

From where it came it shall return :)

[Nene]

Got that right!