Divided I Stand

It was all lies

Every last word

I shouldn't have believed

Anything that I heard

When I'm with you I'm weak

You always tear me down

If your harsh words were water

We would all surely drown

So this time I'm done

I won't be at your beck and call

Because divided I stand

And united we fall

Author's Note

Any and all opinions are welcome :)

Reviews

[Nene]

wow... Amazing twist in the famous saying!!!! Its an incredilble ... Love the rhymes.... one should be with those who bring out the best in them... But those who bring out the worst in you... Destroy you and when they are with you all you do is fall fall and fall....
Cleverly pened!!

[Death's Poet]

Thank you so much for such kind words Nene!!! I'm so very glad you enjoyed it!

[Nene]

your welcome!!!! your work is always a pleaure too read!!!!

[PonoEllis]

Agreed!! Nene took most my words!

[andrew mitchell]

Shadow Poet, what can I say than I love your work. This was spot on and a real gem. Pure talent ! at its finest because I like this style of twists and turns which fixes on the reader well after its read!

[Death's Poet]

Well that for sure made me blush Andrew! Thank you so much for such sweet words on my writing. To have someone as talented as you say those things makes my da

[FREE_BIRD]

you are breaking the quote lesson lol

[Nene]

wow... Amazing twist in the famous saying!!!! Its an incredilble ... Love the rhymes.... one should be with those who bring out the best in them... But those who bring out the worst in you... Destroy you and when they are with you all you do is fall fall and fall....
Cleverly pened!!

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome piece! I love the passion behind the words... the truth and the harsh reality of the realization that you are done and fed up. Very strong poem... good work!

[K. Bridgid]

I really love the rhyming in this because it just flows so well. Your words are always very powerful and even if I don't know what the feeling is, I always feel something.

[ANTO]

I liked this Shadow poet - but - the logic of the last bit is tying me up. The twisting of the usual saying into a new format is really cool and I am with you on that concept but I think it hasnt been entirely thought through. "Divided we stand" - okay the speaker is saying that when they are together with their significant other, they may feel as if they dont have a shared bond any longer
but "United I fall" trips me - its not the opposite of the previous line.

I think it should be United We fall - as in, there is no strength in our joint enterprise any longer
Divided I stand - as in if we are divided then I will be able to stand alone.

:)

[Death's Poet]

Oh, the first line should have also said I! Thank you for catching that Anto! My creative process is really odd and sometimes I am already in the middle of my next project while I am proofreading the previous one. Thank you ! :)

[ANTO]

My pleasure - should the last line be united we fall then? :))

[Death's Poet]

yes indeed! You keep me organized Anto!! Thank you hahah :)

[ANTO]

Lmao - at least that'll be one of us organised then :))

[ANTO]

Haha - you forgot to change the title as well - Shall have to get the whip out for you Shadow ... lol

[Death's Poet]

Don't threaten me with a good time

[ANTO]

yep 15 shades of black and white lol