Rusted World

A Poem by AcasualPawn

Dream of a blind kid comes true, but there is more to it.....

Darkness my phobia,
empty' isolated' dumb' rejected.
Sole possession of me,
my only buddy.

morning arises in darkness
night ceases in darkness..

My fantasy' dream' desire
to appraise & admire,
heavenly world entire.

May be god becomes kind,
with a letter i got donated eyes

But first thing i saw with my eyes,
are few words of advise.

THIS WORLD
IS SO CRUEL
AND I DON'T WANNA
SEE IT ANY MORE

© 2017 AcasualPawn

My Review

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Reviews

Minerva

I can feel the emotion while reading this and that is SO important. Beautiful.

Posted 7 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

Thankyou athena for your views..

Cole Thomas

It was almost like I was listening to someone read it vs me actually reading. If you know what I mean. Your voice in this poem really comes through while reading it.

Posted 7 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

Thankyou wolfe for your kind appreciation...

Tokyo ghoul

7 Years Ago

No problem.. L

Patrick Ramsey

The writer's voice has a love-hate relationship with the dark. It owns him and yet he's afraid of it. It seems like he's struggling with god too, waiting for him to be kind, but not expecting it to be so. I can't tell if the advice is that the world is cruel, or that the reaction of the writer is that. The end confused me a little. The title is gritty. I liked it. I also like that the format of the poem is a little fragmented, signaling that the writer is as well. Intriguing!!

Posted 7 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

Thankyou for your support mr chistopher Patrick

7 Years Ago

Its about a blind kid who is afraid of darkness but darkness is its only friend.
He wanted t.. read more

Elliot B.

I am no poet for sure, but I can see that this is well done. Maybe some words can be replaced with words that are less common and more musical. I'm thinking specifically of "got," which might read better as "received." However, I am no poet, but I enjoyed this well. =)

Posted 7 Years Ago

7 Years Ago

Thanks for passing by elliot b.

AcasualPawn

Its about a blind kid who is afraid of darkness but darkness is its only friend.
He wanted to see the beautiful world but he is blind.

May be god becomes kind,
with a letter i got donated eyes

And letter is given by one who donated his eyes with some advice

THIS WORLD
IS SO CRUEL
AND I DON'T WANNA
SEE IT ANY MORE

Suggestions and advice are appreciated....... Thankyou