Treachery of Nature

Breeze. Gale and tempest plotted against me......

Gentle breeze embraces me
Making me cozy
entwined me' my sense, unprotected.

Suddnely

Fiery Gale started stroking vulnerable me
Provoking my erect standing
Sustaining the sneak attack.

Equipped for next round.

But abruptly heard raging sounds
Its assault of savage tempest
Praying for precise juncture
To rip my firm footing.

Reviews

[EJ's Horror]

I like the nature metaphores, Dark, but may correct "Suddenly" and 'I' but other than that thumbs up!

[AcasualPawn]

Nice suggestions ejheather. Working on it.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, I know, just when one is comfortable, something comes along to disrupt it! Your 'breeze', and 'savage tempest' are good metaphors. I am going to be a bit picky again, I'm afraid.... the word 'groping' does not seem quite right. It had connotations in England English. My Collins English Dictionary gives 5 meanings. I. to feel about uncertainly for something, 2.to find (one's way) by groping. 3.to search uncertainly for a solution or expression. 4. slang, to fondle(someone) in a rough sexual way. 5.an instance of groping (Old English, grapian.) BUT, English is different in different parts of the world. The word 'grope' might mean something completely different to you. Anyway, I enjoyed your poem.

[AcasualPawn]

You are correct its 4th option but i have to change it because its rough

[Great Aunt Astri]

Ah, yes. 'making me cosy'. That gives a much better feel to the 'gentle breeze'. ( but blustery winds definitely sometimes feeing like 'groping'!)

[Mr.Write]

Yikes! I can think of a few instances, unfortunately, where people I know had let down their guards and became the victim of "unwanted stimuli."

I do find the poem a bit humourous though, who knew nature could be so sneaky...

[AcasualPawn]

Gentle breeze let my guard down.
Fiery gale sneak attacked me, making my mind alert, and issuing a challenge.
Savage tempest ripped me apart showing power and cruelty of nature.....
Thakyou for appreciation mr white

[AcasualPawn]

Its about nature wearing different masks and affecting humans in different way.
Breeze which is gentle in nature is enjoyed my many humans, but gale whose intensity of power is higher affect human differently, similarly tempest which is more powerful than gale is not liked by human.....

And second meaning was human felt breeze in cozy manner, gale affected its mind and made him on alert giving challenge to him and lastly tempest uprooted proud human....


Breeze, gale and tempest plotted against me..........

Correction and guidance of fellow writers is appreciated