Life's Book

Human life rules set by someone.
Of which birth & death,two important occasions.

These two important occasions,
Generally, humans are devoid of taking decisions.

But, phase between these two important occasions
are filled with choices, splendor and ambitions.

Its like crackers of different exhibition,
Some will burn splendidly
illuminating the whole sky,
Some will burn silently
why????????? sigh,
Some will dead before they burn
not even getting chance to try,
But in the end they are all ,
pray of darkness devouring vision.

So what is the use of this cracker phase
In the rule book.
Is it because birth and death hung by its hook.

Yes, cracker phase is an opportunity
Which decides birth's moments prosperity,
And death's moments cruelty........

Reviews

[Black Rose]

Amazingly penned! No one has control over death and birth but time in between this two stage is controlled by us. We can mould our life according to our wish and skills. But I have some doubt. Do we really control our lives, or it's just an illusion created by the same someone who created us.

[AcasualPawn]

Well had gone through humans or puppets & justice of god ...
So you sure know my answerread moreWell had gone through humans or puppets & justice of god ...
So you sure know my answer
.. Thankyou rose for passing by.. .

[John the Baptist]

Indeed, we have no choice about our entries and exits, but many choices exist between those boundaries. Unfortunately, many take no note of them.

[Raven Moonchild]

(applauds) Absolutely amazing and mind blowing truths here, mate. :D Fantastic!!!!

[Jenny Lynn]

This one for some reason is my absolute favorite. I love it. Keep it up

[The silent girl]

Nice one. These lines teach soo much about about life. Teaches everything that a person who wants to achieve should know .

[AcasualPawn]

Thankyou Ayshwarya for your kind words

[JayG]

You're trying to be deep and generic at the same time.

• Human life’s rule set by someone

No clue of what you mean, and your intent doesn't make it to the page. You say "rule," as if there is only one, and then allude to it being "set" by a generic "someone." I'm sure you had a meaning in your mind for it, but the reader has only what the words suggest to them, based on their background, not yours.

Why not make them see your vision by involving them?

• Of which birth & death,two important occasions.

Why tell the reader what they already know? It's like saying, "Mashed potatoes have no bones." It's true, but so what?

• Humans are devoid of taking decisions.

For being born, perhaps. But many make decisions about death and its manner. Some, for example, take their life. So the line doesn't work.

Mostly, you talk in generalities, you spend six lines telling the reader the ways crackers can burn. Why not twelve, or three? Why not say, "All crackers burn differently, and be done with it? Does the reader, who will never burn a cracker, really become electrified to be told that crackers don't all burn the same way? That applies to pretty much everything, after all, so you're not telling the reader something they don't already know.

You're talking to the reader, but not involving them. And it's the involvement that entertains.

[AcasualPawn]

Well many mistakes are corrected.
And I used crackers in three ways splendidly silently and dead before they burn ..basically depicting human ways of life ..

And about this

so you're not telling the reader something they don't already know.

Every poet tells reader what they already know in simple and dramatic manner.....


You're talking to the reader, but not involving them. And it's the involvement that entertains.
Well it's impossible to involve every reader ,you of course know it better than me.....

Thankyou jayG. for correcting me ,and helping me ,your words will sure help me in future....

[JayG]

• And I used crackers in three ways splendidly silently and dead before they burn ..basically depicting human ways of life ..

That was your intent. But intent doesn't make to to the page, So for a reader, it's a list of how crackers burn. And your reader hardly ever sets them on fire. Remember, your words mean what the READER takes them to mean, based on their background, not your intent. It works when you read it because you have the story in your mind before you begin reading, and the intent, something only you have.

• Well it's impossible to involve every reader ,you of course know it better than me....

The field of poetry has been under development for centuries. Not taking advantage of that and learning the tricks of the trade, places you at a disadvantage. The preconception that one simply lets the creative juices flow, and you're there, is new, a fiction the Internet created because on a site like this one, everyone who calls themself a poet is.

But there are lots of tricks a poet can use to make the words flow, "trippingly from the tongue," as The Bard observed, and learning them places you way ahead of those who believe that having learned to read and write—owning the nonfiction writing skills we're all given in school—they need no more knowledge to say things profound.

As an example of what I mean, take a look at the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon, for what it says about the flow of words.

And read the poems of the pros for a feel for what wordplay can do. Remember, as Wilson Mizner observed. "If you steal from one it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research."

[AcasualPawn]

Thankyou sir,,, i will try to correct maximum problems

[Elizabeth]

this was very well written! i love these lines -
"Yes, cracker phase is an opportunity
Which decides birth's moments prosperity,
And death's moments cruelty.......

great read!

[AcasualPawn]

Thankyou darkmiSt

[Minerva]

Very well phrased. Enjoyable to read as well, as life and death are a constant on everyone's mind.

[AcasualPawn]

Thankyou athena for your ki d words

[AcasualPawn]

*ki d=kind

[Elliot B.]

Great phrasing! I wish I could poem like you! ;)

[AcasualPawn]

Well, thats the quite honor elliot..

[Jiya]

Beautifully phrased!!!!!!

[AcasualPawn]

Thankyou jiya for your understanding..
Well,
I have seen people begging for death, but they lived, and lived worse than death... And many who die smiling and silently...

I think, how will i die...

[Jiya]

And why do you think so?

[AcasualPawn]

Because iam a dark guy.....

[Wajiha Nayeem]

ohh plzz dear.....dark is beautiful.

[AcasualPawn]

But god loves light...

[Jiya]

Be optimistic

[Wajiha Nayeem]

hahha....god himslf made us..y would he differentiate

[AcasualPawn]

Ohh, so why do you think people die differently.....

[Wajiha Nayeem]

thts his decision...bt every skin is equal in front of him.

[Jiya]

I don't think so

[Wajiha Nayeem]

acc.to me...this is what i believe

[Jiya]

Exactly. People die differently because of their beliefs.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

okk...bt this isnt true tht god only likes light.

[Jiya]

Just as the moon has its dark side similarly life too has its own dark side. One who learns to accept both becomes enlightened.

[Wajiha Nayeem]

true girl...

[AcasualPawn]

Mg one side is dark and another is darker.... Diya you are indian, what your parents told when you are child....

[AcasualPawn]

True indian girl

[Jiya]

To be honest I've never ever discussed 'bout the dark side of life with anyone

[AcasualPawn]

My one friend (girl) sounds same like you jiya..

[AcasualPawn]

Now she is preparing for neet see, so ethical

[Jiya]

My only advice to you would be to search for happiness

[AcasualPawn]

Appreciated with heart.....