Whispers in the Wind

A young boy learns a terrifying truth behind the way of life that his community lives.

Knowing that it was only a dream did not diminish the fear I felt, but rather filled my lungs with terror as I tried to understand what the source of the sound I heard was. Unintelligible whispers enveloped around me, bouncing off the walls of the unlit room I was in and overwhelming my mind with noise. I struggled to gain some sense of direction, my hands fumbling for anything in the void. A sudden spark over my shoulder made me jolt straight up and spin around. As I did so, a small fire was born among the darkness. The orange flame danced weakly only feet in front of me, barely illuminating a short radius of the floor. My ears grew numb to the whispers as my eyes became transfixed on the fire's performance. A sense of comfort filled me in this unknown place, as if there was no longer a force to be afraid of. Warmth filled my body as I slowly rose from my sleep and my senses flooded back to me with alacrity.

I sat up slowly in my tent, stretching my arms and thinking about my plans for the day. My mother must have had trouble sleeping again, as I didn't see her nearby.  As I emerged from the tent, I noticed that the sun was only slightly visible over the horizon. The clear sky and warm weather made the sunrise peaceful to watch, and the events of my nightmare had already left my mind as I fully stepped outside. I noticed that despite waking up earlier than usual, most of the other people in the group were moving busily through the campsite. Several adults were gathering personal belongings while the children herded near the meeting area for breakfast. I made my way through the commotion, picking up bits and pieces of conversation between Mr. Fenton and his wife on the way. I overheard Mr. Fenton mumble "We weren't supposed to leave for another week" to her while she comforted him. 

"You know that they can't always know exactly when these things happen dear". She glanced at me with deep saddened eyes, yet she managed to halfheartedly flash a smile my way. I returned a smile and continued on my way to the meeting area, where my mother had already prepared her and I a small breakfast. 

"Mother, why is everyone up so early today?" I asked between bites of bread. 

She took a moment to respond, observing me as I ate. The gentle breeze blew her long and light hair into her face. Dark circles rested under her eyes, and she had lost weight over the last few weeks. Her tall but thin structure made her look so frail, yet her voice and touch held the strength of her spirit. Being the only family I had, I looked up to her and the way she remained collected through anything we had to face. 

"We are going to be moving soon," she said softly. 

I fumbled with what was left of my breakfast, wanting to know more but not wanting to harass my mother with questions. "Do you know where we are going to?"

She smiled and ran her hand through my hair. "I don't quite know yet, but I've heard rumors that we will be joining a lovely village to the north."

I perked up a bit at the idea of joining a larger community. I wasn't very fond of most of the people we traveled with now, nor was my mother. For the last several times that we had to move, our group's population had only gradually decreased. My closest friend, Barry, was the last person that I truly cared for in the group beside my mother. Our families acted as if we were all blood, and I considered Barry nothing less than a brother to me. Losing them in the last move was devastating, and my mother never quite recovered from it. Maybe this move was what we needed. 

As if on queue, the group leader, Darion, arrived at the meeting area to speak about the move. The adults congregated around him while the children watched quietly, making silent gestures to each other and conversing quietly enough as to not disturb the meeting. 

"Thank you all for arriving on such short notice," Darion began. "I would like to apologize on behalf of the council for allowing such a significant acceleration to go unnoticed in our relocation process. Compensation will be awarded as a gift to you all for your cooperation in this process."

Some of the children became rowdy upon hearing this, and it took several sharp glances from parents to hush the children. Darion paid the children no mind and continued speaking, his powerful voice echoing for all to hear. Despite his strong and intimidating stature, Darion was a kind and fair leader that was mainly responsible for our success thus far. 

"The relocation procedure will begin in fifteen minutes, and we will depart in an hour. Approach me personally if you have any concerns about the move."

With that, the group dispersed from the meeting to finish gathering belongings and to begin the relocation procedure. I followed my mother back to our tent, whimsically thinking about what our new home would be like. When we passed Mr. Fenton again, I noticed that several council members had approached him and his wife. The grim look on Fenton's face sparked my curiosity, and I wandered away from my mother to eavesdrop on the conversation. 

"This isn't right, you know this isn't right," Mr. Fenton kept repeating to the councilmen. 

"This is right and you know it John," One of the councilmen snapped sternly. I could see now that Mrs. Fenton was quietly weeping, but I could not tell which councilmen were present. 

"Why me? I've done my share like anyone else!" John said, his voice started to rise as he stepped towards the councilmen. His wife grabbed his arm, which softened him and made him step back again.

A new voice from the councilmen spoke. "You know how these things are determined, and there simply aren't enough prisoners to meet the quota at this time. The short notice only made things worse. We're sorry John."

John scoffed at them. "You ain't sorry for s**t." I tried to creep a little farther forward, but Mrs. Fenton noticed my movement and looked at me. The councilmen followed her gaze and saw me hiding as well, causing me to immediately glow red with embarrassment as I looked down at the ground.

"You're doing it for the safety of ones like him," I heard a voice say. I looked up to see the man pointing towards me. John looked at me with pain in his eyes for a moment before hanging his head and nodding solemnly. I apologized for my rudeness and walked away from the men. I looked back as I left to see Mrs. Fenton one last time, her eyes painfully fixed on her husband.

When I reached my tent, my mother had already finished gathering our things for the departure. She was kneeling down in front of the tent with the standard flint and firewood that all residents were given by the council for the relocation. I had never really understood why everyone traditionally left a fire before moving, but I had always been too young to question it before. 

"Mother, why do we do such a silly thing like this before leaving? It's rather dangerous to leave so many fires everywhere we go."

My mother gave me nothing more than a forced smile before instructing me to grab my things. She informed me that Darion announced that we will not need to bring our tents before she went back to starting the fire. This was an odd addition to the process, but I knew better than to question the motives of my elders. I followed my mother's instruction and made my way towards the meeting area. I was met with a row of inmates shuffling forward, with guards supervising them. Some of them shouted profanities at the guards, while others fought at their restraints. A younger man with long shaggy hair spit at me as they passed, but I ignored him and quickened my pace to where I was to wait.

Mr. and Mrs. Fenton were at the end of the line of inmates, which caused me to glance back at the row. The two were silent and obedient as they walked slowly with the guards. The two looked lifeless as they passed, causing me to cry a little upon the sight. Everyone restrained was forced to sit on the ground in a circle near the closest fire. Darion emerged from a nearby tent to address the circle of people privately. Although I could not hear everything he said, his dramatic body language expressed the importance of his words. I picked out short phrases from his speech as he spoke of their "contributions in the procedure" being the "gateway to God's remission" of their sins. As he finished his speech, the guards proceeded towards the meeting area, leaving the group where they sat. The last guard turned back to toss a small knife into the middle of the circle, and the prisoners looked around at each other silently as it hit the ground. Mrs. Fenton never raised her head to look, but rather laid her head on Mr. Fenton's shoulder. 

My mother arrived shortly after this to the meeting area, and within minutes Darion was leading the community up the hill away from the campsite. I walked slowly with my mother while carrying the majority of our belongings for her. I zoned out once my steps fell into a rhythm in order to ignore the weight of what I carried. We walked for a few more minutes before I noticed the people around me starting to speed up. I looked back at the campsite in confusion, and almost dropped everything I was carrying after what I saw.

The entire campsite was visible from where I stood on the hillside, and each fire burned brightly in the barren space. From the distance I could see a thick mist barreling towards the camp. Within moments, the whole area behind us was covered in the mist, making it impossible to see anything but the faint glows of the fires that were lit. Cries of help from the prisoners echoed in the wind, sending chills throughout my body and soul. I watched in terror as the farthest flame suddenly went out, leaving a small area fully enveloped in the darkness of the fog. Two more fires were extinguished moments after, making my eyes widen at the revelation that there was more than just the wind and the mist. There was something systematically hunting among the fires. I watched the fires die out one by one, their flames disappearing unnaturally as the cries of the prisoners became more frantic. As the last fire went out, it wasn't the sound of the prisoners that was heard. It was a blood curdling scream from Mrs. Fenton. 

I turned around and quickened my pace among the rest in horror, no longer acknowledging the weight of what I carried. After a while the screams were no longer audible, and the fog was no longer visible as we traveled across the countryside. However, I couldn't help but hear the whispers of my nightmares that were carried across the howling winds, calling my name with a violent tone. 

Author's Note

Do you think this plot has the capability of becoming a longer story? Is the title fitting without spoiling anything? I greatly appreciate any criticisms that you have on this piece, thank you for taking the time to read this story!

Reviews

[JeremyH]

I really enjoyed this piece. I think the title was intriguing without being a spoiler. The plot definitely has the potential to be expanded. In fact, I hope that you do expand this. It's written well with some really excellent vocabulary and great pacing. The more I read the more questions I had and the more I wanted to keep reading.

Overall this is a very strong piece with the potential to grow into a unique and truly scary story. Great job!

[Deason]

I really appreciate the review, and I'm definitely considering building off of this idea once I have a little more free time this summer. Thanks for reading and I'm glad that you enjoyed!

[Jay Bradford]

I really like the idea you have here. It reminds me a little of "The Lottery" if you've ever read that story.
I like the post-apocalyptic feel of it, and your vocabulary is very good.
That said though, and I really hope you don't take this the wrong way because I'm trying to be honest and fair. Some of the sentence structure is a tad clunky and could use streamlining to make it flow. Other than that Its not a bad start.

Your first line is pretty good for capturing the attention of the reader. Its intriguing.
Overall I think that this could, and should be expanded. You have the threads of what could be some very compelling mysteries.
What happened to the world?
What are the sacrifices for?
What manner of thing is hiding in the dark?
Its got a lot of potential.
I applaud your imagination.

[Deason]

I have read "The Lottery", and I hope that this piece didn't resemble it too much! I appreciate the honest criticism, it's constructive words that will build my writing and it means a lot to me. I tend to get wordy with my sentences at times, and I'll definitely be revisiting this story to expand on it and touch up on the errors. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I hope that I can build this piece up to its full potential in the future.

[Elizabeth]

This was amazing!! it definitely can be a longer piece. the atmosphere was absolutely amazing and very intriguing. the writing is really great and had a very good flow. I really wish you expand this. Great read!

[Deason]

Thank you for the review! I'm excited to expand on this story in the future!

[Elizabeth]

you're welcome

[pia]

This definitely has potential to be made into a longer piece.
It was sooo well written....you're like a pro!!!
I loved how you introduced your characters and created the atmosphere.
Loved it hoping to read more from you !!

[Deason]

Thanks so much for the feedback! I'll be coming back to this story to expand it for sure, I'm glad you enjoyed!