In The Darkness Of The Ocean

I have forgotten what its like to breathe

My eyes are filled with the tears I've never cried

and my mouth is full with the words I've never said

My brain lives but my body and my soul are dead

Life carries on for others, I see them from the outside looking in

I once knew what they have, but I let it go

 but I let go

I fell from happiness and landed in the middle of the Arctic Ocean

I can never obtain the happiness that I once had

I fought against the icy grip of the tide pushing me down

I reached for the surface, fighting desperately 

My past slowly pushed me away from the surface

My happiness, my future and my life

is all gone

And I let go

I floated to the bottom of the ocean

watching hopelessly as the surface froze over

The darkness slowly jabbing at me, annoucing its frightful presents

Sharks nibble on whats left of me

and body is as stagnant as the waters that harbor my soulless remains

I float to different oceans 

watching happy people and hating them for their happiness

I wish that I had what they have

But I let that go 

Everything that lives must die

 that is every ones end, that is how it all ends.

My heart is filled with the tears that I can never cry

My mind is filled with words I can never say and

my mouth is full with apologies I can never make

I was never alive to began with 

I died in hell and stayed in hell 

the ocean

That is the place of my remains 

That is where I will die 

That is where I stay

Because I let go

Author's Note

This poem is actually about my Uncle, I think of it as just a way to vent.
Not one of my best in my opinion

Reviews

[Mark]

Honesty, it's really bad teen angst. I understand, but it makes for really bad writing. Try figuring out what the hell is really bothering you and write about it. Skip the old, tired metaphors.

This isn't to knock your writing, only to hopefully explore whether you can really write, or are just making journal entries. Being young can suck, we already know that.

[Buddhistboy73]

Well, I don't think I've ever read a better description of depression.....and this is well written in my humble opinion. The whole thing about being trapped beneath ice and not being able to speak the words, etc....very insightful and conjours up vivid images in the readers mind. Great write in my opinion....keep on exploring the written word and all it can offer to us.......

[Sweets]

This is amazing, I can relate to this. Beautiful use of imagery.
Wonderful work!

[Matt Shriver]

This was really good. I loved it. Such good imagery .

[Chris]

a lot of echoes....

[Larry Dyson]

the last stanza could be a stand alone prose shot...IMHO..

"Everything that lives must die

that is every ones end, that is how it all ends.

My heart is filled with the tears that I can never cry

My mind is filled with words I can never say and

my mouth is full with apologies I can never make

I was never alive to began with

I died in hell and stayed in hell

the ocean

That is the place of my remains

That is where I will die

That is where I stay


Because I let go


Great write...Laury

[Kenneth The Poet]

I like the vivid imagery of this one. It's clear as is the message. Probably the best I've read by you, DSA.

[AndyJCash]

A very icy poem, the imagery was superb!

[Kiri Nells]

I got a powerful image of a very self-beaten person from this poem. That shows that you were very successful in your efforts towards this piece. The flow was good, the imagery was nice and the voice was just amazing. Great write :)

[Jeremy Baker]

Letting go is power in itself - well written.