Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life

This book is NOT an attack against religious leaders or the church, nor is it an attack towards members of the LGBTQ community. It's a real life, eye opening, story about escaping the lifestyle.

PART I:

THE AWAKENING

Introduction

Writing my story was a challenge. The thought of opening old wounds were not something I was comfortable with doing. I could not understand why God would ask something so difficult of me. Of the many different ways he could use me, why ask me to be an open book, exposing my private life before so many? Why would he request that I bring out all my skeletons out of my closet before family, friends and strangers? Why would God ask me to embarrass myself in this manner? I was content with hiding the many flaws that exist in my life. Think about it. People in general are always looking for ways to cover up their flaws. Women put on makeup to cover over imperfections. Some purchase clothing too big in order to hide parts of their bodies. We have even learned to position ourselves when we stand or sit to conceal things we do not want noticed. Being able to hide blemishes usually is done to spare us from some form of embarrassment. At times, we hide flaws in order to protect a family member or friend from the shameful stain of their own inappropriate behaviors. While at the same time, we allow ourselves to be victimized by prostrating ourselves as their scapegoat. 

So I ask. Why now God? Why do you place this test before me? He said, so my children who are trapped in the lifestyle of homosexuality can be set free. You are giving the keys to the door to unlock and free many to a new way of living. So be bold, be courageous and set my people free. Just tell them your story. Those who are righteous towards me will respond. How could I not respond to such an invitation? Often I have prayed for God to use me as He sees fit. Little did I know that He would require me to be so personal, to sacrifice so much in the process. On top of that, by sharing my story, I would have to publicize some aspects of my family and friend’s habits, betrayals, and reveal some of their flaws. Certainly, there will be some who will reject and not agree with me broadcasting personal matters in the streets. I am also sure that some within the gay and lesbian communities will wage war of propaganda against the content of this book. But I cannot be afraid of whatever challenges, threats or rejections that will come my way. For if it is God’s will to use me to help some come into His righteous standard, then it is mine (Isaiah 6:8). I want as many within the gay and lesbian communities to know that there is a way out if they want it. However, to find that escape to freedom, each one of you must understand what elements has brought you into this lifestyle in the first place. What are the causes that have resulted in your decision to love someone of the same sex? My reasoning may differ from yours and vice verse. Yet, there is a common thread between many. 

In this book, I will share three major life events (causes) that contributed to me living the homosexuality lifestyle and how I overcame my sexual and emotional impulses. I hope by sharing my struggles, pains and victories, this book will help religious leaders and gay or lesbian family members to understand how their attitudes, mistreatment and lack of Christ like behaviors can further push a gay or lesbian person deeper into this lifestyle. Just the same as being too passive will too. It is important that you find a balance between loving and supporting your gay or lesbian family member and showing reproof towards the sin, but not the person (John 13:34, 35). More importantly, I hope individuals in the LGBT community will read the pages of this book with an open heart and mind. Prayerfully ask God to touch the core of their heart so that he or she can benefit from my emotional skirmishes, failures, successes and experiences. 

Take confidence in the fact that if I can change and reject the spirit of homosexuality with God’s help, so can you. This book, along with a personal copy of your Bible can help provide the motivation you need to get your life back on track. Do not overwhelm yourself with what people will or will not say about the changes you will start to make. Critics will always have their moment in the spotlight. What’s more important here is your life. So accept this personal invitation that our heavenly Father is extending to you. The mere fact that you have read this far in this book tells me that deep in your heart, you want to change. You want a way out. You are yielding to draw closer to God. Build on that desire by praying to God for help even when you feel you are not worthy to do so. There were many times where all I could pray was, “God”! That was it. Rest assure that God knows how to fill in the rest. 

My brothers and sisters, I encourage you to keep reading the pages of this book. Compare my story to yours in order to help you sort through probable causes that have contributed to your choice to live the life you are living. Remember, understanding the causes will help you to overcome your emotional and sexual weaknesses. It will help you to recognize signs as you are fighting many temptations that will come your way, but it does get easier in time. I promise it does. For example, near the end of my journey of living the lifestyle of homosexuality, I met a woman that I genuinely loved. In the past 20 years I have not cared for anyone as much as I did for her. She was perfect in my eyes. Yes, flaws and all, I really adored her. My experience with her was like no other. Anyone would have been crazy to give up what I found with her. But God had other plans for both of us, as you shall see later in this book.

Author's Note

Below is my book's synopsis. The content provided here is the introduction of Part I. We have not designed a book cover as of yet. The attached image is what we are using to do some pre-promotional advertisement.

What a dilemma our society has built! On one side of the line, men, women, young and old, people of all nationalities waving their colorful signs and flags. On the other side of the line, men, women, young and old, people of all nationalities yelling all sort of hateful things. On white poster boards, written are the words, “No homos”, “God hates fags” and “It’s a choice”. But is it? Surrendering: A Blueprint of My Life strikes a dagger right at the core of this conflict by examining and answering this controversial issue that will stir up both sides of the battle line.

I would love honest feedback. I have every attentions of publishing this book. If you like to follow the development and upcoming release of this book, please LIKE my Facebook page at facebook.com/pages/Deaidre-Newby-Ministry/642365992545788?ref=hl or my marketing company at facebook.com/Kambymanagement. Or FOLLOW me on Twitter @deaidrenewby.