Untitled (The Beautiful Woman in My Room)

This has some deep classic style to it

Untitled

 

You are perfect,
For this moment you are perfect,
Lipstick smeared,
One stocking pulled down,
The warm morning light, cascading,
On your legs,
On the ground,

 

When you touch me, I am aching,
Your breath hanging heavily in the air,
The fire within me craving,
Your tender whispers,
Your luscious stare,

 

 

 

Author's Note

I think this is a nice Piece. Maybe I'm wrong

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

I agree with poetic justice. It's raw and emotional. I would think of more less used words instead of ones like: smeared, aching, or tender. New, unfamiliar words attract more readers. Other than that I liked the subtle erotica and detailed loving of the moment. Keep writing.

-Wella.

[sheila russ]

Very seductive, I think I'm going to like your work...thank you

[A. L. Z.]

I like the thoughts and pictures here. It is great when a man can write so beautifully. I hope your writing and experiences continue to grow. Your work from what I have read is fascinating.

[Jennifer Pennington]

Short & Sweet. Very well written my friend, I love it.

[Paige Manning]

Don't question your writing. It is what it is. If your self-consciousness about your work then you have gone mad, it's beautiful and.......deep. I love it.

[Omar Fendri]

so simple and adorable and emotional. Specific words are used perfectly to show up the beauty and perfection. I love the description :D
I like it

[alice]

I like.
The emotions so raw, it's style is simplistic and it brings a great imagery to my mind.

[Little Whisper]

This poem cannot be bashed at all... it's perfect.

[.]

it's raw and emotional. Do you really think it needs revising..? Some things are just meant to be 'what they are' ..to revise could possibly make it lose what makes it special..do think about before you decide to change it..I really like it as it stands...

[JustAlex]

its beautiful hun, an image perfectly printed within the words
loved it