Alone

I have always felt like an outcast no matter what I try to do. I try to fix in but people push away or maybe its just me because I feel like I don't belong. I know a lot of people feel this way as well it's not a good feeling just waiting to hear someone call you a name or to make you want to kill yourself. People have to realize though that you can't keep thinking that way you have to start thinking that the reason they are saying it is because of there home life or they are afraid of you.

A loner is a person who tries to hide from people and push them away. I have done it to almost everyone in my life including my family. The difference between someone who is a loner and someone who just wants to be left alone is the loner is depressed and the one who wants to be left alone actually wants someone to comfort them and hold them tell them that things will be ok. A loner doesn't want anyone to helped; they want to stay in their state of mind and close the world out.

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

In my opinion, if one are a loner, one should seek help; because again, in my opinion, a loner is a kind of disease, just like depression or anxiety... and humans need touch, need warmth, need caressing, need interaction.....all of these are important to help a loner get out of the box he/she is in and to learn to socialize with others....even though it's tough; push hard and flee the lonely self
Best, Betty

[barleygirl]

The number one goal of a writer is to touch the reader & this is where your main strength lies. When I read you, I am compelled to respond. I could write a book in response to this & it's hard to figure out which part to respond to.

Maybe people don't interact with you much becuz you are too real & authentic for regular people. They don't know what to say, when faced with someone who can articulate his feelings so masterfully. Most people are more comfortable dwelling on the surface of life & relating to people in more superficial ways.

Sometimes when I find myself feeling sorry for myself becuz nobody likes me, I remind myself that I don't like very many people, either.

I have no tolerance for the shallow chit-chat that passes for social interactions, so I don't respond to the large majority of what my so-called "friends" are doing on social media. Your outpouring here reveals hints of this. At first you say you're an outcast, but then you admit that you contribute to it as much as the other people do.

Even tho you sometimes write like a depressed person, I honestly don't see your depression as being the ruling theme in what you write. I'm hearing a person who's quite strong & clear on what he's all about, even if still in the process of accepting yourself.

I've lived in the wilderness for 10 years & I've had about 10 visitors total in that whole time. I'm disabled & housebound, so I haven't left my cabin in over 6 years. The longer I do life this way, the more I love it. I never expected to be so good at being a loner.

Honestly, my psyche was screaming out the first few years living out here, thinking I should be different, thinking I shouldn't be so stand-offish, thinking I must be lonely & dejected. But instead of fulfilling all my misguided prophesies, I ended up becoming my best self, living alone in the wilderness, & I almost never feel down about anything anymore . . . like I did when I spend decades trying to contort myself into some unnatural configuration so I could fit into the world "out there"!!! I know you're gonna know what I mean. And even if your path goes differently, I think there are many similarities (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Chris Shaw]

Austin you articulate your feelings well young man. I think it is great that even though you are depressed you wish to write and share your work with others. Writing is great therapy.. I look forward to reading more of you.

Chris

[emmajoy]

Austin. remember, you are unique. Know this too, please, you are a hero. I doubt few people who say they don't fit in of are depressed could write in the way you have. You have the skill to explain who you are, how it makes you feel. By doing that you've made at least one friend in here.. because there will be one somewhere who just might creep out of the shadows because of you. Find something in your life that perhaps makes you smile, makes you comfortable, then use your skill to write something that comes from inside and just longs to be more. I'll come read you, PROMISE, and so will others, believe me.