The edge of giving up

S**t, what can I say, the feeling of giving up is never the best.

Ever felt like you’ve been stuck in time.? The world keeps spinning, people keep changing and moving on, weather has changed, but somehow you are still in the same place you’ve been 3 years ago…despite how much you tried to change and progress, time and even fate have somehow teamed up to stop you from doing what you have been wanting to do. I guess life has happened..but why does it happen to me.? I swear I have been doing everything right but all it does is make everything wrong…am I destined to just be a failure.? Am I destined to be used as a failure so others can succeed.? I have been on my lowest, lower than I have ever thought I could. I’m equally as equivalent as dirt in the moment, just existing but with no purpose, no emotion, no thought of what I can do to make it better because I have finally given up…at least in my mind is what I have decided. But even then, even if I was lower than dirt, lower than the surface we walk on, I always found a thought or a reason to always be positive…no matter how difficult it may seem to progress, to reincarnate, it’s never impossible and I think that’s the reason why I still am here. My odds right now are 10 over 90 but that 10 still gives me hope that I will survive. And I will. Writing has saved me numerous of times, and frankly it’s the reason why I genuinely think I am still here…I feel connected to words, to stories because I relate to them. Words are powerful and that’s something us as people have. Nearly the end of the year but I’ll be better than ever. I’ll be on top by then.