Venus V Mars.

A short Sci-Fi play exploring sexual stereotypes and the power struggle between the men of Mars, and women of Venus. This is a social satire.

VENUS V MARS

By

Darrel Draper.

Synopsis:

It is said Women are from Venus, men are from Mars.

But what if there was some actual factuality to that statement and both resided on different planets.

That would give a whole new definition to, 'the battle of the sexes'. During a planetary invasion, two men are imprisoned by two women, both species are dying, the only way to save their individual existence is for them to learn how to coexist with each other, however, as we know, men can suffer fools pride and women can be stubborn. Are these two sexes doomed for extinction?

Venus V Mars is an absurd comedy /social satire which explores sexual stereotypes and power struggles.

Lights up. Two men are sat on opposite sides of the stage, both staring at a basket ball which has been placed dead centre. They glance over at each other and then back at the ball. Each other again and back at the ball. Two women observe the men, both standing to one side of the stage. The men cannot see the women. The men are being held captive by the women.

WOMAN #1: Any minute now.

WOMAN #2: Are you absolutely sure they know what to do with it?

WOMAN #1: Yes. I've observed their kind before with one of these things.

WOMAN #2: I wonder why such the obsession. It seems so......

WOMAN #1: Their species are drawn to all things round, and bouncy. One of the primary reasons our co-existence failed. They became too distracted, and we became too harassed. Hence the planetary separation.

WOMAN #2: Ah. I see.

One of the men feels the urge to stand and make a run for the basket ball.

MAN #1: Don't. It's clearly some sort of test.

WOMAN #2: Hmmmm. Cleverer than they appear.

MAN #2: (Beat) I'm bored.

WOMAN #1: Another of their weaknesses. No ability to entertain themselves without implements.

MAN #2: (Goes to stand) Let's just-

MAN #1: You must resist.

MAN #2: But it's-

MAN #1: Remain seated.

MAN #2: But-

MAN #1: Don't!

(Beat)

WOMAN #1: And in three, two....

MAN #2 leaps up and grabs the basketball ball from the centre of the stage. He begins to dribble. MAN #1 then leaps up and tries to take the ball from MAN #2, who grabs hold of it tight and veers away.

MAN #1: What are you doing! I told you not to!

WOMAN #2: Wow. Your judgement is sublime.

WOMAN #1: The male species will go against any direct order given to them. Now take note of how the male without the round object, who initially showed no interest in it, now desires it purely because the other male now has it in his grasp. Primitive. As I said.

WOMAN #2: Indeed.

MAN #1: Put the bloody-

MAN #2: Just back off!

MAN #1: You're an idiot! This is exactly what they want! You're playing right into their hands!

MAN #2: You wanted it as much as me! I saw it in your eyes!

MAN #1: (Turning away from MAN#2 and shouting in the general direction of the women, but not directly at them) Listen here you foul females! You shan't control me! I have a mind of my own! And I will NOT be dictated to by any of you Venatarians. EVER!

Both WOMEN look at each other with laugh.

WOMEN #2: Do you think the Martians may truly be attracted to the rubber sphere because it's shade and shape resembles their home planet?

WOMEN #1: Ahhhhhhhhh, yes. An astute observation. I believe that may be quite likely. Yes. Always wanting to have control of the universe. 

MAN #2: (To MAN#1, while clutching the ball like a baby) It is you who is the real idiot.

MAN #1: How so? Look at you! Degrading yourself for them.

MAN #2: It was YOUR idea to invade! YOU wanted-

MAN #1: It was for the greater good! (Lowered tone, wanting only MAN#2 to hear the next part) We both know that our species cannot continue to thrive without.........Without.......

WOMEN #1: He won't say it. No matter how much they need it. Pride. Perhaps their greatest weakness.

MAN #2: Well, we're not going to get it, not like this. Not under these conditions. Not unless-

MAN #1: No! I refuse! (Knocking the basket ball out of MAN#2's hands defiantly)

MAN #2: Then we die!

MAN #1: Then so do they! (Turns away from MAN#2 and directs his speech once more to wards the WOMEN) That's right. We know about the shortage. We know that you're running on empty.

As MAN #1's backs turned to MAN #2, MAN #2 quickly, like a dog playing fetch, runs and grabs the ball again.

WOMEN #2: (With a disgusted expression) To think once upon a time we used to physically procreate with them.

WOMEN #1: (Also disgusted by the thought) Please.....I.......Our ancestors were very brave. Their sacrifice will forever be in our hearts, but, unfortunately, I fear........I fear that, that.......The, the Martian, MIGHT........He MAY-

WOMEN #2: No, no, don't say it, don't you..........

MAN #1: (To MAN #2) They know I'm right. Even if they'll NEVER be willing to admit it. Damn Venatarians. So stubborn. Their biggest downfall as a species. (Suddenly realises MAN#2 has the ball again) Oh for......Give me that! (Snatches it from him)

WOMEN #1: We have to face the reality of the situation I'm afraid. The bleak, bleak reality.

WOMEN #2: But, but, I, I don't think, I don't think I could, could ever-

WOMEN #1: Believe it or not, there was a time, long, long ago when it was done for pleasure.

WOMEN #2: Pleasure!????

WOMEN #1: Well........Sometimes that's what it rendered. Not all encounters were entirely successful however. I even think that became a factor in the decision to......But, back when the male species were kinder, less selfish.

WOMEN #2: Perhaps we could attempt to change these two Martians.

MAN #2: Give me the ball back!

MAN #1: No! You've had your turn!

MAN #2: We can both play with it.

MAN #1: No! Go away!

MAN #2: But we can-

MAN #1: I said! Get away!

They end up in a tussle over the ball while the two women just look on with a sigh and roll of the eyes.

WOMEN #1: Good luck with that.

WOMEN #2: We're truly doomed aren't we?

MAN #2 ends up with the ball again.

MAN #2: HA!

MAN #1: Argh! I am your commanding officer! I DEMAND you give me that ball.

MAN #2: We're equals in here!

MAN #1: Rank still applies! No matter where we-

MAN #2: F**k your rank!

MAN #1 gasps in shock.

WOMEN 1: I'm beginning to like this one.

MAN #1: How dare -

MAN #2: I have the ball. That means I'm now-

MAN #1: F**k the ball! Don't you get it? They've won! You've let them win! This is EXACTLY what they wanted to see! Us turn on each other! Destroy ourselves!

Beat.

MAN #2: You're just saying that because you want the-

MAN #1: There are bigger things at stake here! Think!

Beat.

MAN #2: I want to be equal. Equal to you. No rank. Just. Two men. Together.

Beat.

WOMEN #1: The male ago. As deadly as their pride.

Beat.

MAN #1: (Begrudgingly) OK. OK. Fine. Equal.

WOMEN #1: (With genuine surprise) Hmmmm. Shocking.

WOMEN #2: There may be some hope yet.

WOMEN #1: The true revelation will lie not in them excepting each other as equals, but accepting that we are equals to them. If not slightly more superior.

WOMEN #2: Intelligent at least.

MAN #2: So. What's the plan to get us out of this mess?

MAN #1: I'm not sure.

MAN #2: (Beat) We may have to consider negotiating.

MAN #1: I will NOT give in to their demands. Their wants. I've already decreed.

MAN #2: But now we are equals, I should have a say in what we do.

MAN #1: (Scoffs and mumbles something)

MAN #2: It's not like we have multiple options. (Beat) Remember. We invaded their planted. Without warning. Can we really blame them for meeting us with hostility?

MAN #1 is silent. No response.

MAN #2: Surely we would do the same?

WOMEN #2: You're right. This one does have a particular charm.

WOMEN #1: I'm calling dibs.

WOMEN #2: Who's dibs? I do not know this person.

WOMEN #1: It's an ancient earth expression. Basically......Never mind.

MAN #2: (Directing his speech towards the women, dropping the ball on the floor, which MAN #1 will subtly pick up during the following dialogue) Venatarians. If you can hear me. Please heed my words. We apologise for-

MAN #1: I'm not apologising for-

MAN #2: Shhh! Quiet for one second! Play with the ball if you must! (MAN #1 does, begrudgingly bouncing it up and down, which actually is quite distracting) We understand that our entry into your planet may have seemed a little abrupt and probably caused much alarm, I know that.......(Turning to MAN#1 bouncing the ball) Actually, that's a bit.....Could you just.....For one minute. (MAN #1 stops bouncing with a scowl) Thank you. (Directs his speech back to women) I think the time has come for our two species to place our separations to the side and try to find some common ground, out of a shared necessity to continue to exist. I'm sure we can both discuss things in a civilized and intellectual manner. That is, you, and us. So. What do you say? Our lives, and the lives of our future generations may depend on it. On this moment. Right here, right now. WE could be the new pioneers of this universe and REUNITE our species. Ending all wars and sexual injustices. But, we can ONLY do it TOGETHER. Please. Let's place our differences to the side and secure a bigger, brighter, better world. For EVERYONE. ALL SEXE'S.

Beat.

WOMEN #2: What do you think?

WOMEN #1: You know, there are certain relics which render the same, if not far better pleasure than a man can give. I could acquire some.

WOMEN #2: But can they speak words with the same level of gusto?

MAN #1: What a waste of breath. The female species will NEVER listen to reason. You should know that by now.

WOMEN #1: (Scoffs) You mean THAT gusto?

WOMEN #2: Possibly further reason to accept the Martians invitation to discuss. Show that swine of a male that we are NOT the stubborn, over bearing, controlling race of people he believes us to be. After all, I think it's only fair, seeing as at least one of them has demonstrated that their species IS capable of rational, intelligent conversation.

WOMEN #1: (Beat) OK. As you wish. I shall grant them some respect. On one condition however.

WOMEN #2: What's that?

WOMEN #1: I get to hold the sphere.

WOMEN #2: Hmmmmmmmm.

Blackout.

THE END.