TOILET HUMOUR

A short comedy sketch. Think 'Taken', but instead of a human being kidnapped, a toilet roll is, by a 6 year old girl.......

INT. BATHROOM.

COREY rushes into the bathroom, clearly in desperate need of relief. He slams the door shut behind him and furiously locks it. He struggles in taking off his belt in a blind panic.

CUT TO:

INT. GIRLS BEDROOM.

ELSIE is sat on her bed laughing to herself with a phone in hand.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM.

COREY breathes a sigh of relief, he looks over at the toilet roll holder and is greeted by the devastating sight of a single sheet of toilet paper attached to an empty roll. On the single sheet a note is written, “HA! You want more toilet paper, ring this number”, a number is attached to the note. COREY recognises the number, he looks bewildered. He takes his phone out of his trouser pocket.

CUT TO:

INT BEDROOM.

We see several rolls of toilet paper by ELSIEs feet. The sound of a ringtone is heard.

CUT TO:

INT. BATHROOM.

COREY is on the phone looking angry, we hear the dial tone, ELSIE answers with a cheekily coy tone of voice.

ELSIE

(O.S)

Hello?

COREY

ELSIE?

ELSIE

Yes?

COREY

What have you done with the toilet paper?

ELISE

You can have it if you give me your Netflix password.

COREY

No ELSIE, you’re not allowed, just give me back the toilet paper, or when mum gets back…..

ELSIE

OK bye.

(Hangs up)

COREY

(More angry)

What a b***h!

(Redials)

ELSIE

(Picks up)

YES!

COREY

Listen you little………I swear, if you don’t bring back the toilet paper, RIGHT NOW I’m……

ELSIE

Going to have a smelly bottom!

COREY

ELSIE! Stop messing about! I mean it, you can’t have my Netflix account, there’s stuff on there that…..

ELSIE

OK BYE.

(Hangs up)

COREY

ARGH! B***H!!!!!!

(Redials)

If you put the phone down on me again I swear I’m going to break every toy you own!

ELSIE

Yeah alright, good luck getting off the toilet.

COREY

I’ll use a towel if I have to.

ELSIE

Mum will kill you.

COREY

And I’ll kill you if you don’t bring back the toilet paper.

Listen ELSIE, I have a very particular set of skills, and if you give me back the…..

ELSIE

You’re not Liam Nieeson COREY.

COREY

How have you seen Taken? You’re far too young for that.

ELSIE

Saw it round Isabell’s, her brother had Netflix. He didn’t get off the toilet for three hours.

Ends. 

Reviews

[Quinn W]

Loved the ending! I was laughing so hard! This has literally happened to me before. My sister is an interesting child! Absolutely loved it!

[Ddraper]

Thank you Quinn! Much appreciated!