Excerpt - from a story I'll never finish

The darkness literally guided her down the streets of New York as she had no idea where she was going.

Zoned out and lost.

Beautiful little soul, why your all I have my beautiful soul.

Her head flowed to nearby homes playing the latest pop and occasional rap songs.

Captured.

Something began gaining her attention.

Locally she knew of nothing there. Throughout their childhood her parents had only money and material things, their parents laid bust in their own paths and hadn't noticed their own kids begging for emotional attachment.

Begging for moments to be more important than work, the latest fashion show, the newest fashion designer, best magazine partnership.

Adrianna Walsh remained in touch with her emotional detachment throughout adulthood and it reminded her of what not to do with her little girl.

Her sweet little girl.

Or is she?

The steps in the dr marten boots slowly irritated her as she walked toward a huge building with lots of windows and lights shining from the roof.

"What in the", focused on the lights sparkle through the darkness around them stopped her train of thought, her thoughts there were not of her, and her flaws, of her work, or of what had to be done to be what she wanted but of what she was seeing.

It felt so freeing to be in the moment of something.

More steps began after walking subconsciously beginning up a flight of stairs and soon enough she was there.

She built this image of what she wanted while living in her small suburban neighborhood and in that moment her view of the city from that rooftop was exactly that.

Laughs, a noise from the back of the rooftop nears the stairs led back down to the city, as if a portal to and from this magnificent place.

Away and above from all, problems, doubts.

Nothing could match the way she felt on that rooftop, it will forever be a part of soul, the rooftop and her soul mended by this is invisible thing some call assurance.

Her hands grasped towards her camera and pulled them towards her face.

They smelled like the flowers from last night.

Those sad, beautiful flowers searching for survival. Clinging on to it by a thread.

Refusing to let go despite the inevitable doom that is their death.

She faced the city's views and looked straight ahead, taking endless shots of certain angles and positions of the trees blowing each time looking more effortless and unique with each shot.

Moving towards a small circle in the lights she slightly danced, unlike anyone there, she swayed back and forth letting the warmth from the lights and the bitter cold mend together to feed her soul.

She was unsure of things more and more often being here but yet it fed her soul.

Her soul felt more and more fulfilled with each sway and heat from the lights.

Glimpses of the lights and her dancing within them were captured. Such a effortless little thing.

Built within by the moments vibes. Entangled by not what should be, but what was now.

Free.

Her eyes shimmered with approval from the people around who had been watching her along with the lights.

She refocused on the camera and grabbed it and walked to a step near the edge of roof.

She began taking photos of the people and what they had been doing with, and to each other throughout the night.

Dancing, kissing, talking, crying, laughing, watching, it was all captured so effortlessly.

Her ability to capture moments was a gift.

Whether given or developed it was a gift.

Not to be wasted but to be exposed.

Out of a laughing group of people came a boy towards her who looked beautiful.

Nothing else to say.

Simplistic enough.

Beautiful.

An explanation would do him justice if it could be explained in words.

It can't.

He continued walking towards her making eye contact with her.

She remained zoned out, unsure of what was happening exactly.

"Beautiful", he spoke.

Captured attention.

Her eyes looked him in his but with more emotion then the last.

Searching through them for details.

Brown. Big. Attention worthy.

"Thank you", she responded.

"Your Welcome", he continued. "You look like a thought of mine."

"Yeah", she said so calmly.

"Yeah, that thought that a moment is going to last forever." He answered.

"I had that thought right now", she continued, "It never does".

A glance from him showed how layered his features were.

He gave a sad look of agreement as she turned her head towards the lights grinning at them dance in the darkness.

"The lights got you dreaming, huh."

Without a response from her he continued to go into depth of when he first came to New York and how he found a party like the one they experienced tonight and how he got lost in what he came for.

"The heat from the lights mixed with emotions is dazzling.", she continued on doubtfully, "At least to me."

"Do you come to these parties often?", he asked. "Dancing to the heat of the lights."

"No, I'm not used to such unaltered beauty like tonight, but I want more." She declared.

"Once upon a time we all had dreams that --." His head turned towards the view searching for what Sky had still been searching for.

"What?" she said invested in the conversation.

"Once upon a time we all had dreams that", a deep exhausting sigh came from within him, He continued, "that had us searching for something unattainable." He continued speaking of his dreams and his friends who went on with partying and doing drugs to escape what they got trapped in.

"What did you get trapped in." She declared worried of a familiar answer.

His head tilted away from the view and onto the burning lights.

"I've never been able to explain it clearly enough to understand," "All I know is that it captures those with a dream made out of temporary interests."

They both turned towards the city's view and the light along with those who danced around them in search of what to call it.

The wind blew past the roof blowing the lights around hopelessly.
It howled and demanded attention with it's constant shrieks.

He turned away from the lights facing her face overshadowed by light on one side of her face and a dark shadow on the other.

"Those who aren't actually devoted to their "dreams" will begin to find other things that take away their attention until they find something else more "real" or "in the moment."

He rolled his eyes at the light portion on her face.

"You know we're young." She contrasted.

"We all have time to discover out actual passion even if a temporary one brought us here."

"But getting lost in what no longer interests you and how you don't know what to do won't help."

"Whatever captured you is still holding you."

"You let it and you pay it attention as if you need it to feel whole and then complain how you have nothing without it." She stated.

"Yeah well you obviously don't get it, and that's good for you but to be wrapped up in it feels beautiful and effortless until you realize the beauty doesn't pay you bills or get you any thing you need other than a few long moments.

She wondered if he was homeless or in need.

"Don't worry I got friends." He said aware of the concern on her face.

"We all live here." He continued.

"One of my friends made it big and bought this place for us all."

He continued.

"He swore he would, for us all to be free without a care and to live for the moments but, It doesn't give me purpose."

Turning back to the lights he tearfully spoke without crying, he said in a timid scared tone, "I want purpose."

She watched him observe the lights in their entirety while they sat in silence watching the light and darkness play and dance just as they had watched her earlier into the night.

"The City's Echoes." She explained.

His face turned confused and then refocused on the lights, staring them down for a sign.

A few moments passed of her watching him lost in the lights noticing his deep expressions towards the darkness and light.

He suddenly broke the silence in amazement.

"That's it", he said in disbelief.

He relaxed back to his position and turned towards her again, the light and darkness had swapped places on her face.

"That's it."

"The City's Echoes." He continued. So happy to have words attached to the emotions him and his friends had been going through for seemingly forever.

He continued over and over saying it and thanking her.

"The City's Echoes."

"Thank you Sky." He begged.

"It's nothing." She mentioned. "Try to focus on other things, don't embrace the consumption of you soul to it."

"Whatever Sky." He made an opposing and playful yet mildly concerned face that someone who tried to make light of a situation even though they know it's doomed might make.

"Seriously." She said trying to remain concerned although the situation proved to become half of it's serious nature.

He stared her down waiting for her to break her serious demeanor when she began zone out. He understood and stared at the skyline instead. Silence dawned on the both of them for even longer this time. Both trying to have something, anything else to say.

He felt eerie at first, along with the city she'd met him in and mystery surrounded him and friends so tightly.

Reflecting on the conversation with this mysterious boy, she began to closely relate. She feared she was going down the same path. Certain words from him stood out and repeated over and over replacing her dancing thoughts of the lights, or what tonight was, or how she'd been too busy with work.

"All I know is that it captures those with a dream made out of temporary interests." She thought.

Some things may remain unsaid but this wasn't and she could not relate but it sounded frightening and it naturally made her concerned for herself and her future there.

Her reflection received an interruption as he began to softly speak as if he was trying to calm her down from something.

"Don't think about it," he stated with demand. I shouldn't talk much about what to do in life, but I know you have talent Sky, pure passion. A gift. And if you wasted that -."

"I won't." She said strongly at first, with doubt trailing the truth of that statement the second time she repeated it in her mind.

"I won't."

"Good." He added.

Awkward silence began to return and appeared like a turn of something other than awkward, relaxing.

The night remained young and it hadn't even reached midnight.
"Why did you want to tell me this me all this?" She asked with a confused look on her face.

He began to discuss about why he'd been sitting there with her and why he hadn't remained with his friends or another girl.

"Your so beautiful and I could tell from your face you hadn't been told enough your whole life."

He was right.

The dark of the night would be nothing without light shining through, stars gleaming above.

He continued.

"You look comforting," looking back to the lights for a better way to explain it. "It's like you listen and observe and capture with that camera of yours, and I feel like telling you would be cared about.

"You know?"

She nodded in agreement and gave him a look to continue.

"You seem really submissive Sky."
He made a concentrated daze towards her face.

"I like that."

She returned the look, separating the camera from her hands.

"You made me feel heard and I haven't been," he explained.

"Even from my friends I feel they relate but don't understand me."
"Something about you just made me feel comforted."

"You don't judge, and some other people that had looks like yours did -." He made a turn away from her.

"They listen just to know what your feeling and then they assume things, Sky, they assume less of you after and I can tell."

"I saw you sway with the wind and I wanted that, for me," the amount of freedom in your eyes."

"I miss that in myself, being lost in what I wanted and not what I was left with."

"He has nothing but moments," she thought, "no matter how beautiful, how freeing, how dazzling, or how eerie something was, some will always want more."

"Not all can have more", she continued her thoughts undoubtedly, "and those who want and can't have are cursed by sadness and jealousy of the ones that do. "Forever being focused and disappointed by what could have been."

"By what never will."

She looked to him in approval to speak, and when reassured she began expressing what her living had been like and why she had come to the party they were in.

"I feel out of reach by what I want, and the photography pulls me closer to it." She said beginning to explain things she couldn't gather to herself.

"With the photos I capture what I want, nothing more, I have control and deeply within my photography there is desperation, and the unknown beauty that masks it."

He asked about her photography and she passed him the camera from a step below the one they sat on. Through the collection of photos he saw his emotions expressed within them.

He had nothing but these short moments and his never ending thoughts of them and at that moment they each secretly felt bad for him.