Man Rising

The nature of the man

 

 

When we had eyes to see

What did we dream we would be?

That which is perfect, a self made brawn,

Comprising all, from vain Pavo, to kindly Chiron,

And to build it ourselves, brick by brick.

The soul would be first, it carries the wick,

Then the heart, that would bring love's true wish.

Last would be a mind to know itself, the tish,

First to inspire and then the final picture,

First a dream and then the final achiever,

Cry they would in between, moan and wail even,

For the loss of the dream, so real it seemed,

But soon to set about the work of redeeming,

To find the facts, so truly overwhelming.

A new man rising, to bring belief to the day,

What is possible, just took a dive into the may.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Cody Williams]

Very entertaining read! I enjoyed it!

-CW

[MOON]

Lovely write great word choice and flow and thought provoking as well.

[Timothy Burjess]

I find the idea behind this poem captivating. Millions of years of evolution has given man the advantage of intelligence, and this poem clearly encapsulates this journey. It's conceivable that only somebody with advanced thought and ability to almost time travel within their own imagination can formulate such a poem which can question the rationale of early man's expectations of their journey into an advanced state. You have managed to analyse the psychological thought process of our existence, and that, sir, is something most profound.

The journey then reaches the summit of time, the modern day becomes the central point and this is when you manage to throw in language to express the struggle we all feel at some point in our lives; this, a picture of mankind as one.

The future is seen, processed and logically administered in a way which gives the reader a feel of tranquil uncertainty; juxtaposition in perfect form. Touché sir, absolutely sublime. Ending with a linguistic conscription of faith and hope. This, simply; perfect.

Written with exquisite language and complimented by a harmonious fluency, this piece is unnaturally splendid and drawing. You are an inspiration to me and I'm infinitely sure everyone who has the pleasure of reading your work.

Please, never stop writing Dayran, your ability to delve into the depths of human thought and imagination should not be withheld from the world.

Thank you so very much.

[Cole Hayley]

I don't know if the formatting is intentional but it actually really fits the poem. I love your poetry, you don't write it much but its always a treat.

[Tate Morgan]

We need to stir the ingredients of our lives from time to time.Then step back and survey the results

[Dayran]

Coming from a man who raced horses for a living I wonder about what you mean by ' stir.'m

[Tate Morgan]

I mean we need to step back occasionally and look at the life we live.At 6 points in my life i came to the crossroads.At that point i made life changing decisions.All of them changed me as well

[Dayran]

Tate ... this is official ... you don't know how to take a compliment.

[Tate Morgan]

Thank you I'm doing the best I can

[Dove]

Nice poem
Full of emotions
Amazing rhyme sceme
Perfect flow
And beautifully written
... Fantastic!

[FJ Davis]

If this is a requiem for reason, Sri, do not overly mourn. Reason, alone, will never fulfill or save us. The nearly infinite unknowns, ever-emerging variables and far too little time do not recommend this faculty as the sole solution.
An impressively written, precisely composed poem, though.

[Akshat♥]

Awesome poem..i loved it..
so deep and full of emotions:)
i am speechless now:)

[alegria]

like the new pattern in which this nice piece of work is writtn:) well done keep wrtitin:)