First Light

Eyes of Innocence

I wrote this out on paper … before transferring it to the screen. Besides seeking an insight into the effect on mind … I thought I felt a homey effect … in a certain old world charm. The efficiency of thought had slowed down … but all I had lost was a little anxiety … I used to feel … when I first started using the computer. It gave me an opportunity to realize that … food … as a component of the passions … was the first input before sex. The revelation has stirred some interesting insights.

I know folks … who consume their steaks rare … and their fishes raw. It put me onto their basic passions that stressed the plain and simple in life. These are uncomplicated people who rest in their assurances about the old … tested … and reportedly true purposes. Its surprising how easily … they create acceptance of issues … in a mild untroubled manner … without the obligatory inquiry into basis and reason. Its so mild and gentle that … its infectious.

Those were the times of the gentleman scholar … a lack of the questioning nature … an absence of separation in issues and … everything lumped in a category that says … ' we can't know everything.' It was also the age of sweetheart relations … where goodwill and good faith flew like kites … on a windy day. It was long before private agendas … hidden ambitions … and individual exercise of rights … came on the scene.

I call it first light because … it was a window to the mind … that first perceived the possibilities … of itself. It enticed us … like a H.G. Wells or a Jules Verne. It referred to possibilities in the future … alien visitations … and a bold new perception of man. It led to wit … in thought and speech … backed by a solid hard working attitude … that considered work sacrosanct. It defined our fathers … and from there … watered the roots of our early childhood.

It produced dreams that went largely unmolested by facts. But it also produced … nosy neighbors … sarcastic bosses … and unsolicited sympathy from friends. We relied on the group … to assure us of our good faith in communication. They in turn relied on us … for the same. It made for a flock of geese who were always together … and would consider it shocking … if we didn't always conform to the group. It sought to preserve itself … in the past.

We might have asked ourselves … ' what on earth is that ' … ' where did it come from.' It reminds me of the Russian folktale about the Sert. It tells the story … of the people of the Sert … who lived in the frozen lands of the North … and one day traveled South … in search of fire from the people who lived there. Thereafter they grappled with the secrets of fire … and managed it … as a tool to serve man.

Did we only recently have our eyes opened to the doctrines of faith? Did we only now come to encounter … efficiency and professional behavior? Then we ought to simply say so … or did we bury it together with the 21^st century … under so much indifference … on account of fire … and practice nonchalance of issues? It helps to be clear … so that we can deal with it better.

I have teenage housemates … where I live … who speak with barefaced audacity about things … they have not grown to experience in their lives. A product of the web … no doubt. I try to tell these boys … that the information highway revolution is new. It wasn't there in my father's time. I didn't receive any guide from him … and am making it out on my own. But good golly … these kids go on like its an established way of life with everyone. Their attitude seems to say … ' its better to be audacious than not understand what everyone is talking about.'

Have we been body tackled … on the general lack of integrity in our personality and knowledge? Are the kids in the neighborhood a little loud in their anxieties? Do we experience that everywhere we go? What we are obviously experiencing is change … brought on by the … communication and information devices … that has made real time … very real.

Adaptation is a important part of specie survival and we are certainly being put to the test on that. I seem to recall thinking that … it must be as intense for everybody … as much as its been for me. But its been the hardest thing to get anybody to talk about it … over and beyond their defenses. It is hardball … for everyone … isn't it?

My suggestion is … that we have to start all over … review our perspective on the changes taking place around us … and form a new view … away from the anxiety and fears … we experienced when we first encountered it. We need to have better control over it … rather than allow it to ride us … like a driven ox. We need to overcome the resistances … we have build … to ignore … or dismiss it. We know where we are coming from … and its certainly no field of roses.

In a new perspective … we may be better able to apply ourselves … to understanding it … and create an organization of our lifestyle to deal with it. We may have underestimated the size of its force … and thought we could deal with it in our stride. We may need to dig in … for the long haul. Our willingness to confront and deal with it … opens inroads … into an understanding of the natures … inherent in the changes we face. We need to realize that … its also the changes we want.

There's one … in our house of personalities … who is being prepped to go all the way. The rest … form a circle of thought about the nature of our being … and bring it to an affirmation in the mind of the one … who has to hew the forest and build over. We nee d to decide whether we are the one … otherwise we join the circle around the one … and provide him with as much information … as we can … about what we think ...ought to be done. We are preparing for the day … when he's sure … and is prepared to make his move.