From Decadent to Cadency

Doing It Again

After 40 years of working at raising my understanding of the self … I'm coming to the suggestion that I ought to re-work it all over again. Certainly my poor soul has gone through many powerful challenges … in the process of learning … but this would certainly break the camel's back. I'm appalled … surprised … but mostly … I am curious. Surely that suggestion must mean something other than what it obviously is?

 

Indic texts refers to the recital of the Ramayana … in past experiences … when a man … by the name of Kuni … raised the question … ' But what does it all mean?' … ' I don't understand what it is saying!' And right here … we find that elusive point of difference between … knowing and not knowing … that crowds the mind … in respect of its ability … at knowing the self. Certainly … knowing is a state that contrasts with … not knowing … and for as long as we are learning … we figure we know. But when we have come to know … do we still have something to compare it with?

 

The experience is observed in several other ways … but representing the same principle. A society that works hard for its self sufficiency … and eventually attains a level of prosperity … loses its sense of gain … and thereafter slides back into the position it was at originally. Someone who works hard at … body building … displays a clear sense of beauty of the body … but can only preserve that in their condition … if they continue working at it. It doesn't stop.

 

In the cultivation of mind … we undertake it because it is the normal state of the man … not more. It is not pursued as a mountaintop … to be reached with great endeavor … after which it becomes possible to name ourselves as that … and thereafter … enter into a daily ritual of maintaining it. In engaging the learning process … as our normal daily activity … we attain a living of the experience … that is simply viewed as natural … and ordinary.

 

The issue comes to great illustration … in association with a female love interest. The forces of life relate freely … in respect of a female mind … unless she is identified with a symbol … or form … of a man … as its defining theme of life. The man is conscious of it … and wills himself to  identify with that form in the female interest … and keep it steady in a relationship. In a perfect world … she lives her life in contribution to the viability of that form … and creates such motivation and persuasion … that's suited to the purpose.

 

But something obviously goes wrong doesn't it? The form … in truth … is neither the woman … nor is it a true account of what the man is … only what the man is in relation to the woman. He is lost without her … and she experiences something similar.  And at some point it illustrates the condition in the relationship. In the growth of self awareness that we have come to in these times … the issue is sadly only too clear in the minds of the lovers. The Indics refer to it as the sin of attachment. But is there a possibility of a solution?

 

The man who has come to the daily life of rationality and feels himself validated as an individual … gets along with a woman … with the understanding that she is relating to a form of him in her experiences. He offers to relate to that form in her … only as long as she has a need to do so. But as her own self awareness grows … and she seeks to work at her own identity … the relations comes apart … and he realizes that it was there … in a practice of decorum … that they undertake with each other.

 

The Japanese tea ceremony … undertaken between the wife and the husband … is a clear illustration of the decorum … we can practice as a couple. It takes away much of the surprises in love … but its not unusual that in the course of human civilization … we will come to enact some such practice in our households. Its a clear statement of needs … organized in a manner … that demonstrates our understanding of human nature … and relationships.

 

I seem to recall an occasion as a child … when my mother was dressing me up for school … she was going through her usual chatter about this and that … and referring to me in some way … in a certain part of who she is in her identity. I found myself asking … ' But I'm here!.'  Its a point of identity in my individual nature … that still puzzles me. And what was I referring to as the experience of mother … in my young experience as child?

 

These are obviously questions … that still seek a clarity … in our present experience of ourselves … particularly as a couple. I find comfort in the Indic suggestion … that each soul seeks its own realization … and will in the course of a relationship … move in directions … that are consistent to its individual nature … but not to the relationship. As a premise … we find that both the man and the woman … come to a realization of their true individual selves … in the nature of lives that we live in the world.

 

And so … how do we tackle the issue of … adopting an attitude of not knowing … even after the gains from our learning? We view it as a necessary instrument in the human disposition … that is always there … in view of the changes we continue to expect over the long term in evolution. We can learn to handle it in ways … that sometimes brings an amusement to us … about the nature of the self. And then when its time to turn the plow over … we find that we are no longer playing at not knowing … but are really that … in a time and place in the future … when the specie development has gone into new areas.

 

We come across situations that illustrate these all the time. Indic and Buddhist teachings constantly … refer to the fact that we know … deep inside … and we simply have to find that. On a rational basis … we need better organization of our relationships … that's either placed on a professional footing … or is founded in self awareness of the issues between two people. No doubt we continue to work at that … but when you hear your kid calling … ' but I'm here ' … you know its time to re-look at eternity.