Parlour Games

A Cow Shed

Its a place to sit and relax … in a home or an inn … and is quite often the place for card or board games. As a place to trade jokes … news … titbits … and an exchange of pleasantries … the parlor is the commons that brings into display … our social mannerisms and conduct … that sometimes defines our relationships. Its a showcase of society's cohesiveness … and the comfort we come to share in each other's company.

 

The dictionary … brings a new meaning to the word parlor … originating from the Americans … that defines a parlor as … a shed for milking cows. One wonders about the way its applied in the social context … especially in comparing the two experiences. It could of course refer to an entirely different view of the social experience by the Americans … where cows are a new addition to the social milieu.

 

The Vasudeva … in the Indic legends … was a cowherder. His reputation is of such a quality … as to suggest … that he extruded the milk of human kindness … in his dealings with society. At the same time … he enjoyed the admiration of the damsels of Brindavanam … the garden of paradise … as the ideal lover and friend. But the man was often at odds with his girlfriends … and would suddenly disappear for days … without contact. On these occasions … he may be observed to be playing his flute … among the cows.

 

Certainly nobody will mistake the Americans for extruding the milk of human kindness … but then nobody … seems to have spent any amount of time with an American in the parlor. Had they done so … it would have created an opportunity … to discover American social manners … up close … without spilling the milk. I am certain … its an opportunity … the world looks forward to experiencing.

 

I was with my brother-in-law from Australia one time … in my parlor … and we engaged in a great deal of trivialities … about this and that … which occupied us tremendously. Its an exercise in managing the kindness we experience in the human condition … in the matter of not saying an unkind word about anyone. We spoke about wine making … his farm in Australia … how he came to meet my sister-in-law … his family and then it was about the Yanks … places he had visited … and so forth.

 

It was an incredible experience for me … and I enjoyed it thoroughly. It displayed the ability of mind … to deal with the passions … to steer them in a close social conversation … the selection of words to say … the expression of it … the tone … and comfort with which we communicate what we think. The sense of sharing is conveyed in a subtle sense … as … ' that's what I think … what do you think?' … that is implied in the tone of the conversation.

 

My American brother-in-law … would speak about his work … and different aspects of what the work involves. The German … would confine himself to his jewelry business … with a polite avoidance of anything about German society … or his family. And that persuades me that  Australia is the parlor in the world's experience of the cowshed … bringing that special touch of subtle communication in social engagements.

 

Its the quality of being polite … but more than that … its to bring home the mind of the man … in engagement with society … to reflect on what his social engagements say about himself. Its a great stabilizing experience … in the passions … particularly that which we engage for social exchange. It keeps the man comfortable in such a position … and creates a reference for the vast fields of  kindness in passions … like loitering cows … to gather around. He becomes representative of what … we expect in the average man in society.

 

Without reference to an object in the passions … especially as it relates to the feeling of kindness … inherent in the passions … the individual's passions become like a ship tossed on the waves … and it must perchance go where the waves lead him. Its possible to muse into all varieties of views and actions regarding what … we think we are … on our own … undertaken with our guide and positive nature … that its something valid in the world's experiences. But that's not brought into verification by another.

 

In the parlor conversation between my Australian brother-in-law and I … I was brought into the most awkward position … with regards to the hint of my learned disposition and his farm background. I had inquired as to whether … he had thought of another career as a young man. In the continued sense of the subtle kindness we engaged in … the conversation gradually skidded into the nuance of … his response as … ' whatever do you mean?' It caused my eyes to become a little crimson … with the notion that I had given offence … in a delicate place.

 

But I had stayed firm … in my position … and we battled most gently … over an hour … over coffee and cakes … and the company of our wives. I made it clear by my manner … that it was the most normal and natural of inquiries … given the inclination of youth in these times … to leave the farm. He had then shifted the conversation … to practicing wrestling … as a young man … in  preparation for the Olympics … but wasn't selected for the Australian team.

 

In the following days … he steered the attention to our common mother-in-law … as topic of conversation and praise … and then he had turned to the Yanks … with a perceptible shake of his head … as in ' go figure.' We were walking by the beach with the wives … as the sun hung low on the horizon … in the misty pale light of the evening. It was there … that he brought himself to admit … that the Yanks … are a fine example of human achievement in these times.

 

In the great march of civilization … its not too hard to see how … as a society … we have been yanked out of the parlor … and into the cowshed. We call it a growing experience … and we certainly expect to return to the parlor some day. It is however important … that we keep to our perspective of the issues … and not ruffle our feathers … over lapses in parlor manners. Its what I would say in my parlor. Anybody for more milk?