A Father's Testimony

Raising Kids ... and all that

There is much in the way of an adult understanding … that children do not yet grasp. A father who raises a child … pays special attention to the way the child's understanding grows … in relation to their compassion and love … and thereafter the father needs to come to some hard decisions about himself. Its the point of facing up to … a point of view that may be entirely in contradiction … to the father … and many fathers leave the issue unexplained.

 

My daughter is about 28 years of age this year … and we have not spoken nor seen each other for the past 10 years. She was an adorable child … in her pre-school condition … and I remember taking some photos of her … that serves to remind me of happier times. However as she was going on to school … my attitudes had slowly gravitated to one of learning. At about age 12 she was missing the simple joys of passion … and play … and she spoke to me one time to say that … she cannot continue with … the emphasis on learning and knowledge.

 

As the only child … there's no question that she didn't have other kids to play with. But we had ensured that she had toys … dolls … dvd … video games … TV … and we took her to the zoo and theme parks. In time she gravitated to books and stories … and eventually formed quite a collection of Doraemon and Enid Blyton. Accordingly … I had maintained my attitude about the need to focus on learning … and informed her that she would be free to make her own decisions … when she is 18.

 

At 18 … we had a bit of a family quarrel … that had been rising for some time … and I realized I was bound by my promise … to allow her … her decision making. The family split up and I left. The decision to break up was a common one between me and the wife. I had thought about it … and decided it was the best thing for all of us. These days … as I review the conditions that existed … my interest … is in identifying the triggers … and instruments that lead to such a event. It does offer some interesting perspectives.

 

As a female … I figured my child was given to the usual intuition of situations … and she was in that way very insightful of matters. However … my impression with regards to that … borrowed from the experiences of my sisters … who didn't get a college education … and engaged their knowing sense … with a great deal of improvisation on issues. I had thought that … it would have made a difference to a gal … to combine her intuitiveness with some study … and to organize the experience better.

 

When I left … my daughter had got a place in a local university to study … environmental science. I had suggested a course … with business studies … but it was her decision to make. On reflection … it appears to me that she had chosen a path … to enhance on her experience of the passions … and to bring that to bear on a physical orientation of the world. It would be the experience of the new woman today.

 

For a child … my manner as male and father would certainly have been overbearing. My attitude as a person … who is prepared to pursue and inquire any issue to its natural end … was a matter of reputation with my students … and the wife. Accordingly I figure … my child was put in a position of being in contact with her … second wind … and to observe with the full faculty of the intuition … the rationale of the situation. The fact that I didn't wobble … might have helped.

 

As I muse on my condition with regards to the family today … I have a pretty good idea … how she's working out her situation. For starters … I figure she's not relating to her passions … as an entirely personal and individual nature … but is bringing it to occupy her studies of … plant and anima life … in the progenic nature of its condition. In relating to that … and in relation to her perception of the experience as knowledge … it would overcome … what many women experience as their … creative sense of union with all life. There's a difference … and it makes for the passions to be sensible.

 

In that I figure I may have done my best … in my duties as father. My relations as a father … has been entirely consistent with … someone … who had depended upon me for guide in her formative years. Have I exercised myself … in the best way possible … on the basis of my understanding of her needs? I answer that as ' Yes.' I wish I could have done more for her mother … but she was raised by her father. I figure these days … she's making notes on my role in the family.

 

As I allow myself this view of the situation … I remind myself to stay within its parameters … and not to extend it beyond its basic premise. There certainly are many things … that can come in the way of a young girl growing up … that may have guided her into other notions. But I satisfy myself with the thought that … in a final analysis of the situation … my view … is expected to be stable. Makes me wonder whether there's a need to get to an older age … before my daughter realizes that.

 

A woman's view of a situation such as this … relies on the wholesome nature of the life … as if its a view of a life's thesis of possibilities. And when she brings such a thesis … into application with the events that unfold … does the physical environment affirm her view … and bring into passionate appeal … the experiences that she encounters? As her father … I certainly hope that it does. Its not the easiest thing in the world … to raise a kid … but we try our best.

 

The epilogue to such an experience … certainly brings a focus of attention to the way we are organized as family and society in these times. In my case … it engaged some initiative on my part … to set aside the usual standards of view … and to apply myself to the needs as I saw them. I have no doubt that ...the situation is one that is shared by many fathers. A father is brought into special natures of understanding in his duties … and he does it standing his ground.