The Suicide in the Mind

When hope is lost

I majored in accounting … during college. It was the most sought after program … in the economics faculty … because it meant jobs. And I think for a while … I was envisioning … an executive window room … and the latest model of car. It worked out fine … and I was soon in a multi-national company as trainee assistant accountant. It was everything I had thought it to be.

 

Accounting as a profession emphasizes precision. You can't have a dollar missing in the books … even when you are dealing with millions. A single dollar unaccounted … may be the symptom … for several imbalances … that off-set each other and add up to a difference … of simply one dollar. Its like the tip of the iceberg … with 7/8ths of it under water.

 

A career that is lived in the upwardly mobile fashion of the times … hides something naturally virtuous … in the background. It belies the views of the pessimist … regarding money-folk … who must … in their judgement be dishonest to be rich. Its as if we have come to believe that … to be honest … a person has to be poor. But does it imply that people … have come to a strategic orientation … a spin … with regards to the way they define their honesty?

 

We bring the issue to the circle of lambs … that we encounter … in our private discourses … on the right and wrong of things. That may include wolves … in sheep's clothing or may have wool over its eyes … but its certainly not a pacifist group … intent on world peace. Instead … its a circle of personalities we encounter … in the self … about what it takes to make things work … and whether we are up-dated on the issues.

 

I call them lambs because of their self-assuredness … their steady gaze … and intent of purpose. They don't fear wolves … because in their company … even wolves disguise themselves … out of embarrassment. And the steadfast they bring to our discourses … demonstrates a keen eye on what's fair … in the equality of all men. When I read about a tsunami … earthquake … or tornado … or even a bad road accident that I witness … I bring it to the circle of lambs.

 

There is however a practice of standards to membership in the Lambs. Its simply logic … and it relies on cultivating a fair average view of life in the world … based on the individual and social perceptions. Its criteria approves for membership … only members who are physically healthy … are not maimed or handicapped …  and enjoy a middle class living condition. We expect that such individuals represent a naturally fair average reflection of man in the world.

 

 It is this group … that I came to meet in my young life … who have since shaped my views and perceptions … separate right from wrong … and schooled me in a fair average view of the values and norms … that make up a world society. I have to say that … I actually got the boot … when I first became aware of their presence. But curiously … in the reviews I undertook of my own dispositions … before and after … I became satisfied that the group was right. And now I find myself … in some way favored for membership again.

 

I am speaking in the context of the perceived influence I bring to bear on people I meet in the general fellowship of society. I ran into a former student … recently … who greeted me with a hug and thank you …  or the time I skinned a waiter with adjectives … for suggesting that women here are ill behaved. In the management of the common comfort of mind and passion … every event comes under review always … and I'm grateful for the company provided to me by the Lamb circle.

 

In such an engagement … I came into contact with the suicide in the mind … an experience from a former time … that seemed to have lost all hope in humanity. It appears to have been related to all manner of thoughts and desires that went into the mind of creation from the beginning. It conveys itself as a state of mind … consistent with evolution … and the march of time … in the lives of the denizenry of the world … and now human society.

 

I realize that my reference to Lambs … is a departure from the practice associated with swans from another time. And perhaps that again is different from the tutelage of dragons … that arose from the pits of creation. I figure I sometimes run into the other groups … but our identity as human … differs from their own and we learn to relate to issues on the basis of common understanding.

 

It appears that we are coming to a new sphere of understanding with each other … especially on the nature of the relations … and the cooperation offered. It helps to make clear our roles … and improve the possibilities for mutual benefit … in the long journey home in the universe. In the plans we undertake for a single specie … in the future … that would eventually be host to all these diverse personalities … we show our willingness to live together as one.

 

Of particular significance to our development in the world … is the way that our association comes to define the experience of reality … physical natures … dreams … and the value of life. The Indics defined the overall experience as  amara thiba  … or loving life forward … and I like to think … that is what we will collectively subscribe to as principles of our association. It brings to the universe … and the suicide in the mind … the intimations of a special joy of living in the life.

Reviews

[stars are far]

that was quite interesting thing, and I think that you are lucky that you found your place in life, I believe that every human who finds where he belong to ,even if he belong to the ants in the society, he is said to be lucky because at least he found himself somewhere in this ill society.
And can I just suggest something about your title, well its just the thought hat came to me, the suicide of the mind, we are believing that this is when machines are taking human's role in life, and that's the cliché word, but also in some societies its when we study something, and work in another major, like lets say I know a woman who studied English literature but now is working as a math teacher, and that's because she couldn't find an English teaching opportunity and now since many years have passed she forgot English literature and started to know more about math's, and that's my idea about the suicide of mind.

Again I shall say, your work was very interesting ,thanks for sharing :)