Betty Davies Eyes

Receiving a Compliment

They say in the legends that Zeus had a lover. He was a young man … given to beauty of form … mild of speech … and moved with a grace. It was an important contribution … to Zeus … as he lived among men … with an inquiring mind … that defied the odds … and served as an admirable example … of what man can accomplish. The companionship of the young man … helped to moderate his mind … and brought it in line with social priorities.

 

My attention was drawn to it … some years ago … when the movie star … Nastassia Kinski … hit the movie screens … and caused quite a stir … to the senses. With eyes that were dewy … lips full and pink  … she caused a wonder among movie goers. The effect is quite revealing. It persuades us sometimes … that in our haste and fears regarding our own vanity … we may have chopped off … more than was necessary … in the name of social ethos … and good form.

 

It revives the sensation in us … buried deep past our shame and misgivings … and encourages us to bring it back a little … and perhaps manage it better. We pooh pooh the whole thing for a while … create new excuses … and hope that we won't be bothered by that much more. Then that girl at the check-out counter … creates a touch about it again … and the kids at home are all merry … about the approaching Christmas season … and by golly! … we think we ought to get that new Calvin Klein briefs … with the jockey design.

 

Perhaps what might help is to realize … that it doesn't all go straight into the pants … certainly not with the hindsight we have gained on the issues. Perhaps it'll help … today … to view the broader implications of the experience of ravishing natures … and bring ourselves to deal with it. I remember when I started to deal with it … I stopped consuming fish. I don't know why … but it helped me deal with it better … reducing the sexual innuendos and raising the issues into concerns of civility … and social organization.

 

It also gave me the opportunity to examine what I was now bringing myself volitionally to do. As I recall … in my youth … I was simply drawn … hog-tied … to engage and respond to such impulses in the social environment. When that happened I found some unusual help from the emerging American lexicon … on ways to deal with it. I'm not sure if it was well done … but it provided the much sought after … feeling of self defense on the issues … while maintaining my own good form.

 

' If you can't beat'em join'em ' … was one of my favorites … simply in handling an attitude of giving in … to the inevitability of social pressures. ' Going with hunches ' … ' shooting from the hip ' … and just in case of emergencies … ' the lord moves in mysterious ways.' It worked great … as ' numero uno ' … but it lacked the bonding criteria … that people looked for in relationships. As a result I found myself … ' way out of my waters ' … on occasion … especially in social engagements … female company … and sometimes in the office.

 

I remember wondering about that a bit. And I came to a specific view about its impact … perhaps as justification. All around me … here in the Asian experience … I was encountering people … who  had at least 10 excuses for saying no … to trying something new. I rather fancied … that my attitude was creating a change in attitudes … of people around me … but something about it … didn't sit well with a lot of people.

 

In an English class recently … among school children … I raised the prospect of positive thinking … and some panache in the way of doing things … but the administrator of the classes … eventually dropped me. Too much? I remember when my daughter was growing up … my ex-wife would counsel … ' don't raise your hopes too high you'll be disappointed.' A great case of destroying initiatives … before children even make contact with the positive … and the nature of possibilities. Of course … in the Indic case … they are still recovering from the fall of the Indian world empire … thousands of years ago.

 

I had the opportunity .. to review the American use of language recently … when I was watching a movie. In a certain scene … a young adult sits at a bar counter … and orders a drink. 'Just that one then?' … the bartender responds … in the way of chatting up the young man. The young man grins sheepishly … and says ' yeah … that's it.' Certainly that comment is designed to solicit … just that one response. There are after all a plethora of icons around the world.

 

I thought perhaps that … there might be a million ways … of looking at the cultural significance in that exchange. Perhaps there was also a sexual innuendo … but one thing's for certain ... its a sharp remark … and it alerts the individual … as to the intent of the inquiry … and to provide a considered response. Its a great social style … perhaps much needed in these times … of the ' packed in ' nature of human emotions. But that's the curiosity of the American style … it provides a hand to a person … overly wrought with ethical issues … with the expression … ' money talks and bullshit walks.'

 

At a dinner function in the Arizona desert … I had told my host … that she looked like … ' Kate Ross.' What I received was the response … of an empty stare. A simple ' thank you ' … would have been sufficient. For me … it was self defense against an iconic image … powerfully conveyed on the silver screen. Perhaps its because she couldn't understand what a foreign cultural view … might have meant by such a remark … or then again … perhaps it might have helped her deal with it better than ' swimming with the fishes.'

Reviews

[Laura Lynn]

We better figure out how to respond to compliments, thank you has started to sound like a swear word to me though, whoever you are