The Letters

The Wisdom of Abner Day Series - V

Abner Day

PO Box 107

Delta Junction

Alaska 99737

USA                                                          Sep 2014

 

 

Dear Abner

 

How are you … you old coot? What's this I hear you got yourself away … from the family.  I asked Maggie to buy some Sherman tobacco for me … and that's when she told me.  So what's the deal?

 

When I first heard it … I thought you had taken off with some guy you got smooched on … they say it happens these days. But I'm glad to hear that it was simply you getting pissed off about everything. There are worst things in life.

 

So how is life in Alaska? Son-of-a-gun … so you did it … didn't you? I wish I could say the same thing about myself. But when I broke up with the old dragon … I got a job teaching English to some school kids … so I've simply settled down here … in a room I've taken for rent. Its in an housing area … but its tolerable.

 

I still remember how we met in the US … over that poker game … that they had behind the carnival area … in Pomona. I thought I was gonna get bashed up that day … but I'm glad you stood up for me. Will always remember that. What's it been now? … about 28 years?  How time flies … in these days of the super highway … or is that information hwy? … whatever.

 

Okay … I know you are probably wondering … what gives. Well … here's the thing … I remembered Whiskey … the collie you raised … and I dunno what it was … I'm probably getting soft in the head … but I was thinking that it was really kinda fun … the time I spent in the US … and taking off to visit the sites with you and your family. It was kind of you guys to show me around.

 

I especially remember … your thoughtfulness … in bringing me to the mansion for auction in Paradise Valley. By golly … tennis courts, swimming pool, pool house, rose gardens … the back verandah … and the view of the city landscape … my goodness man! … it was what I imagined about the American experience. I really felt later … than you understood that about me. I appreciate it.

 

I was thinking if I could return the gift in some way … and knowing you … that would certainly not be a copy of the Mahabarata. So here's what I think … you might want to do … in the frozen north. To keep busy … and to occupy that outrageous mind of yours … you might want to do any of the following hobbies while you are there. There's rock collection … make color dyes …  and find out about the age on the web. Do you know what causes petrified forests effects? Makes you think … don't it? Record your observations and study … and who knows what might come about. Science is always growing.

 

Or you might want to saw off … some big tree … and then study the rings. They are always missing something. Oh okay … here's a better idea … herbal plants … their remedies and stuff like that. There's this old bugger in New Mexico … who talks to plants and they talk back to him.  Oh … by the way … are you still brewing your own beer? Damn it … I can't seem to get it right. Taste like f**king urine!

 

Here's another. Pick up anything you can find on the ground … pebbles … sand … tree bark … dried flowers … leaves … feathers … tree resin … dried grass … roots … anything. Then put them together … on the wall … use the tree resin … to make a mural. Get some wood … carve it into figures … wooden soldiers … then color them. Are you doing any hunting?

 

 Okay … I've got to go now. The door to the driver's side … on my car got jammed … and everytime I get into the car … I've to open the back passenger door … to get to the driver's door. Its a bit like life isn't it?

 

You be good to yourself … you hear!

 

 

Your friend

Dayran

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sri Dayran

PO Box 701

Bear Mountain

Malacca 75250

Malaysia                                                                                                      Sep 2014

 

 

 

 

Dear Sri

 

 

I'm just fine sonny … how are you doin'? Let's see now … how does Maggie do it? It was nice to hear from you. I'm glad you're making out all right. Sheesh! … I was at your wedding reception here … for God's sake … how do you think it makes me feel? You know that she's a beauty … don't ya? But I should talk … the wages of sin … you know … gets you every time!

 

Alaska … shucks! … I never really thought I might do that some day. But here I am … and boy … I'm telling you … it makes me a new man. Don't get me wrong … I had a wonderful marriage … Maggie's a great gal … but … what's the word NASA uses … SPACE … the bloody idiots who created us … didn't know what they were doin.' So Maggie and I had to do SPACE again.

 

How on earth does anyone do this anyway? … Letter writing I mean. Now SMS on the cell … that's a real idea … and you can program the messages.

 

Yeah okay … Alaska … well … it keeps me out of jail. Frozen … is what I wanted to say. What was that you told me about the Russian Sert?(*1) Wanted to climb the mountain nearby recently … went up a good distance … but I think the prostate gave out. So I did that … what's in an achievement thing … and it worked out okay.

 

There's a stream behind here … great for fish. There's moose and elk … in the forest … rabbits. I'm doing some curing for leather … one wolf … 3 rabbits … and the moose. Turned out the moose makes for a great throw rug … and gives it a homey effect.

 

Hey … okay! … I'll say this one time and then I'll shut my trap about it. Its gonna help me take this thing out … is what I mean. My friend … now remember … I'm a friend. Yeah okay … well what I want to say … is that … in my books … you're one big loud mouth who made good. Now … don't take it the wrong way … I meant it as a compliment.

 

Oh right … that reminds me … Maggie and I had a lot of fun … on our site seeing trips. It was just great having you around in those days … sheesh! … I forget how young we were!

 

And Sri … my boy … you may not get famous with the invention of the ' Tape Gorgon '(*2) … but you are famous in my books … sonny … always will be. So when are you gonna be the bigtime author again? Its nice to do it before you get too old … for all those press interviews. Its horrible when the liver spots show on TV.

 

You know what it did? … It stopped all my abduction episodes … and you are absolutely right … what's the book again … the Mother's brassiere … oh I'm sorry … here it is … the Mahabarata … hey … there might be something there … for sure. I mean … you were right … it could have been a flashback to the days I was an infant … my parents were standing around me talking … I couldn't move …and I heard them 'telepathically.'

 

So what's on the stew? I swear I feel like a warlock sometimes … buddy. What can I say? Who's that guy … Berlin … Ballin … well it'll come to me … the magician. It feels like that … days on end. So what's the problem with the beer thing? Forget the beer! Get some rice wine goin '! Same thing … yeast with rice … cook it … and let it ferment. Its like moonshine … and its easier. Get some tropical juice mix … prepare a glass and pour some rice wine. Put a little umbrella in it. Its the Caribbean babe!

 

Had a problem with a bear around here. Well … I figure he's on the run from something as well … so we're learning to live together.

 

Thanks for the suggestion about the rocks. I got the herbal thing all right … figured I might do that … but petrified forests … you're not holding back something from me are you? Okay … here it is … nobody will ever be able to say Abner didn't write a single letter … his entire life.

 

Sheesh! One whole letter! You're not gonna believe this!

 

 

Your friend

Abner

 

 

 

 

Abner's Collection of Useful Words :

 

(*1) Sert … (Pron' /cert … as in certificate) Early Russian myth about the destroyer of the Gods. Lives in the frozen temperate locations. Myth (Indic) Siva the destroyer. History(Gk) (associated practices) … Early Scythian Corinthian … who moved to Greece from Asia Minor … practiced diminishing the divine idea and establishing objective thought. Abner's Version … ' Can't say I've met him.'

(*2) tape gorgon … (Pron' /tape(as in cape) 'go 'gone) Using plumber's tape to tape the middle finger to insert into the arse. Physiology … Creates the impression its someone else … plays on the mind like a gorgon. Abner's version … Its the King of the Buckaroos.

Reviews

[Brittany]

really loved this peace love your choice of words:)