Two Worlds ... One Life

Instant Family

Its strange to refer to two worlds … when all we have is one. It feels like a distortion of reality … and we clamp down … in a fear of false facts. But we can simulate the world … in our minds … so well as to cultivate a world … beyond the world we live in. In fact we find in doing so … that the mind has always been doing that. If we have stopped … it may be because … we never learnt to do it well … but rather thought that it was simply a fun thing to do.

The fun doesn't have to stop … simply because we are learning to do it better. It is possible to understand … plan … and work towards doing its safely … with the cooperation of our social circle of experiences. It advances our understanding of our roles … and improves on the quality of our lives. No where else is this issue more significant than in the family … but sadly that's where … we seem to screw up … the most.

Calling a spade a spade is fine … but its an act of redundancy … that robs us of our originality … and individual natures. A father … mother … and child in a family … makes for great Kodak moments … but the relationship is dependent on a repetitive nature of thought … and communication … that is simply an affirmation. Its a place for building relationships … and is not the ski slope of adventure … nor the school of experimentation. Its primed to build stability … in young lives.

We encounter a second family sometimes … but don't call it as such … on account of the physical distortion that occurs. I'll call it the … ' surrofam ' … from the terms ' surrogate family.' That's when a father realizes that among his male friends … are a wife and child … he never had. It may be childhood buddies … or work colleagues … but they serve as the surrogate for the cognitive aspects … of the family relations … we experience … within the real family.

The friend who ' plays ' the wife … shows an interest … when the father speaks of his relations with the wife. He stays reticent … but appears somehow keen about the role of the father as husband … and his effectiveness at it. Over beers … the talk becomes easy … and it provides for a grand opportunity for the father … to come to perceive … his relations with the wife … and bring it into expression. Its especially significant when his friend appears to champion the cause of women.

The friend who plays the child … is full of ideas about what interests children these days … toys … educational products … medical clinics … clothing … and child development issues. He refers to new attitudes … the things the kids pick up from movies … the web … and school. At parties … when he visits … he's with the kids … and seems to get along with them great.

In time … the father … runs into the surrogate syndrome … with his friends … and finds that his ' child buddy ' … is getting willful with him … and the ' wife buddy ' … well … it can get complicated sometimes. It works better … if both the buddies … are friends … the father met … on the web … perhaps even from around the world. On a webber basis … he creates the all important discovery … that our real families … are indeed the world … in our passions. Its like what Thomas Jefferson said about friendships in the shade ... and in the sunshine.

That in turn brings to the father … an opportunity to view … his individual nature … and opens the door … to divine the mysteries of religion … magic … and world events … and to relate to an experience … of norm … that is reliable … particularly in changing times. It is the light of our beacon … as we bring our understanding of the world … into expression.

In the organization of our thoughts … that we undertake … it enables us to do so with equal emphasis to both sides of the argument. What is real and what is false? How does that depend on a relative nature of things? Why does the mind create its own world of existence … in relation to the passions? How do I reconcile the two? What does that say … about who I am … or God … or the world? How do I attain peace from my fears?

What we achieve in the process … is the inexpressible joy of the balance. There are many rapturous expressions … of the experience … ranging from seeing everybody as one … or as me … or as equal in all respects. The view extends to suggests how … what we do … reverberates in the world … into the lives of others. On this basis women sometimes come to see … everyone as their children.

In other expressions … we hear of the stars … sending wave energies … into relation with the sun's wave particles … in our solar plexus. Then we hear about how they combine … to form the pattern of directions and decisions in our lives. There's also references to wave energies from the future … coming into contact with that of the past in our memories … and how they inform the past of what to expect … and to understand the changes … for a life in the future.

These are the cultivation of a process of cognizance … that is clear and coherent. It startles the passions … and introduces to it … a persistent dynamism. From our ' surrofam ' … we bring that into contact with the real family … and our wives relate to us … as fathers of the experience … of the world. And so do our children. It becomes a mix of families … that dismisses any attachment to one specific notion of experience … but keeps it fluid … and moving.

We find in the balance … that to perceive something as wrong … is false. We say … I might have to apply myself more … and then someday …