Being Michael Caine

Rolls Royces and Cripples*

Thoughts come and go in a mind that is open to view possibilities. Its like a home of pigeons … that sees its many dwellers … fly in and out … as if at random. Its a dance in the King's ball … where the dancers change partners … and touch hands … with others in the group. Its also a dance of the muses … in the legendary Pleiades … as they merged and formed ideas … that brought light to the mind and joy to the feet. Its like the inertia to build.

I am never sure … sometimes … what might arise next … in my thoughts … and I'm grateful … for this experience of retirement … to be by myself … and not have to attend to a wife or child … whose needs for attention … would occupy my commitment to thoughts engaged in my social role. For in taking a moment to view myself this way … I realize what I feel as … the greatest preference … without interruption … in a courtly dance … with many others.

There's the King … who steps … hand in hand with God … whose power he represents on earth. There's Apollo … surrounded by all the beautiful ladies … who denies its him … but is a representative of their beauty. Casanova … dances … like the breath of angels … dedicated only to the one he loves. The Saints … bear a countenance of seriousness … but declare its their love for people. The man … curious about his discourses … tells her … by his looks … that its her … in his mirror.

I meet Ali … a friend … and he tells me … I favor the American … and that's not right … but he's grateful … its not his sister. There's the Oriental … in his mountain … will only dance with the father … and the father keeps telling me … to let him be … with Buddha. There's this kid who doesn't dance … but he likes to watch everyone. He loves them all … and I think he'll like … for an opportunity to show that some day.

I made a mistake once … with a girlfriend … and everyone figured … she's a better dancer than me. When I reviewed my actions … I found out that the mistake was deliberate … to let her win … and to have her … take to the dance floor with everyone else. It was a mistake … that returned to haunt me … on the nature of the ethics about ' letting her win.' Fortunately we managed to sort it out … thank goodness for human ingenuity.

Someone danced too close to the sun … one time … and was burnt. It was more than … a question of ethics … it was the way … the dance was designed. And soon … the dance floor was empty. The fire-birds were the first to arrive … screeching my name as they flew overhead. I thought it sad … but the seasons … they were still dancing … the sun and the moon … the rivers and streams … the oceans and the sky. And I learnt to dance alone.

Everybody thought I was crazy. It was a different tune … it didn't speak. So I gave it words. The years passed … the dance hall fell into ruin … and finally the roof collapsed. So I danced out in the street. Felt a little strange … but the grocer thought … it was cool as cucumbers … the restauranteur … said its like tea from China … the taxi driver had me stumped … helping me without being asked.

Then I ran into the police … and noticed they had their batons out. But they said … as long as it was within the law … it was alright. And that's when I saw the King dancing … up there … on the dais … watching the soldiers march past … on his birthday. It was starting to get too much … I had to stop … shut the door … stay indoors … turn to the write. But the words began to dance.

Then the pigeons returned. They made a frightful noise. I listened and realized that they were from all over the world. There was the Italian baker … the French artist … the German butcher … the Spanish barber … the list goes on … and they wanted to know … what I was doing with my life. I figured it was multiple personality syndrome … but my mother said … its her. And she told me to relate.

We were no longer dancing … we were talking … singing … and someone … took over the dance floor … and danced all over the world. There was talk of earthquakes … about to take place … storms … a destruction of certain parts of the world … and the concerns of the King … about life. It was an entirely disorderly mind-set and implied an inefficiency about life … a random sense of survival … as if we all could go … in the next instant. Obviously some assurances … were called for.

So I tried all manner of persuasion … but the snow queen … was impossible to convince. And then I saw what it was … they were afraid of extinction. So I brought out all my arguments about science … what we have come to learn … and the fact that a drop of blood … from the living today … stored safely … can be used to regenerate life again … in a suitable environment. And then … all the anxieties stopped.

The mists ... blurred and shadowy … started to clear. Then we perceived the waking of the human self. Everyone was stunned. He seemed to be drawing everyone and thing to him. So we told him … he's like a Bill Gates … the President … the Queen … Michael Caine. He smiled and said … he liked Michael Caine … and he laughed aloud… and said … ' he's funny.'

*Quote : ' ... you know, you don't mind paying tax. What am I going to do? Not pay tax and drive around in a Rolls Royce ... ( while ) cripples beg on the streets ... ? ' ... Michael Caine ... 1978