Akunt's Tale

' I used to be a fish … we lived in the ocean,' said Akunt … rubbing her hand on her left thigh … as she sat on the rock … by the beach. ' I wish there was another way … to tell you where … we came from. ' She turned to look at the beachgoers … picking up seashells … and exclaiming in wonder … at the beauty of its designs and colors. The Sicilian beach … reflected the sunlight and turned to gold. Sam sat quietly … on the rock before her. His father had passed on … the previous year … and he relied on his mother … and older sister … for companionship.

' The eating gorilla comes in peace ' … is one of the books written by the American adept … Bubba Da Free John. It intimates at explaining the human psyche … as a creature that is simply seeking to swallow whole … anything it comes across. However as Bubba pointed out … it is not trying to take over our personalities … but to teach us to grow. Its a matter of how man … relates to the creature within.

Sam looked up at the sky … as some seagulls … that floated on the air currents … with their heads dipped at him and Akunt … as they sat … close to where the seawater … came to splash on the shore. The sound of the waves … raised a distant sound … that droned like thunder … before crashing like the sound of cymbals on the beach. The call of the seagulls … added to the sounds … and caused him to feel like he was sad. It came in cycles … the way the waters withdrew … and then threw themselves … back on the beach … incessantly … persistently.

' I was already married … when I met your father,' she continued. ' He was a big man … was very protective of me … and brought me into contact with the world … in a way … that was almost magical. But he was mean to your sister … and she was always crying … on account of that. I thought it was cruel … so when I met your father … I left him. Your father was simply wonderful with her … and they became good friends. I was so happy for her.'

Sam stirred on the rock … and could feel his passions rise. His father was a kindly man … but he lacked that strong male bearing … that Sam had missed … in his upbringing. He knew of his sister's father … and thought well of the big man … as a strong … willful personality … who encouraged Sam … to feel the same. As a result Sam had grown up with very tender emotions on the one hand … and at the same time was capable … of tossing it all … and taking on a willful attitude on issues … in an instant.

' Your father always admired you for your curiosity … and the strong interest … you brought to finding out about things. As a child … you would toss your father aside … and speak your mind on issues … and your father admired that about you. He wouldn't have encouraged me to do that … he was very vain that way. But when you grew … he realized that he had encouraged you … to speak up … and couldn't then … tell you to shut up.'

' So he grew to be afraid of you,' Akunt continued, ' but didn't know it.' Sam frowned … but she continued, ' If he exercised a will about you … its only because he was the father … and he thought … you relied on him for it. A child needs an independent way of affirming his thoughts and actions … other than by himself. Its an important matter … of experiencing the independent nature of the world around us.'

Sam was surprised at what he just heard … but figured he had always felt it in some way. It was the child's wall of defenses … against knowing too much. He had thought perhaps that his father's attitude was one of maintaining his own … as if it was him against the whole world. Sam on the other hand had cultivated a relationship with the world … and felt the world as friend and ally.

' When your father retired … he began working in the garden … and I realized that our relations had changed. He was my best friend … and he wanted me to keep secret … our relationship from the children. The fact was … he had become like a sister to me … and the new role … made him totally confused … when he had to deal with you or your sister. '

' What happened to him?' Sam suddenly blurted out.

Akunt realized she couldn't explain how Sam's aspiring male attitudes … affected his father's kingdom of the male. He was no longer … the one log*1 of the forest.

' Your father got in touch with his female side … which is something you boys must come to understand better … when you grow up. Its the union of what a person is with the world and the universe. I don't think he regretted it … he just found it hard to go on … and kept falling … without realizing that he's not supposed to depend on me for it.'

Sam was thoughtful … and in some way realized … what awaited him in his own life.

' Your father came to believe … that there is no death. He believed that he was the eternal spirit. It wasn't anything more than what I used to feel all the time … but I was grateful for your father being able to bring that to me. He made me feel special … and I thought he was the only man … who truly understood me.'

I couldn't completely read Bubba's book … however I was pretty certain he must have explained the concept clearly. I had thought that … its a matter how we live our lives … and come to apply the principles … of living with death … or with the sensation … that there's someone out there … who might swallow me whole … and make me feel I have been entirely insignificant.

Science has not explained what happens to the Ulysses*2 … after the gamete process … and after the development of the fetus. Does it go to rest in connection with the child's ovary or scrotum? I think he might have. He's the eternal genus … the beginning and the end … and the unchanging aspect of life. No matter what the future holds … as man … we have the confidence that life will go on … it always does … and we are learning to understand … how.

Note:

*1 ... A lone Log ... http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Dayran/1386393/

*2 ... The word Ulysses refers to the male spermatozoa