A Letter to Muse

Friends helping Friends

              Malacca                               Malaysia

21 Jul 2014

hi there!

I haven't actually written a letter … or received one for sometime. I wonder what we regard e-mails as … generally speaking? A letter on paper … hand written … with an envelope … stamp … and delivered by the postman … may actually cause offense to people these days. Its the … ' what are you trying to do? ' … with no clear sense of what the person is saying. I suppose it brings back memories.

This is not a letter to the wonderful gal on WC who names her profile as Muse. I meant the word Muse … in a manner of … giving thought to something.

I was in love with this gal once. We knew each other in high school … but it was simply hello … have a nice day thing. Then I met her again … while I was working … and she … as they say … had filled in nicely. I had joined her and a friend at a cafe … had a simple catching-up-chat … and then we were off. And then … lo and behold! … my head started to swim a little … and before I knew what was happening … I felt the angels descending … and carting me off … to that place … where a person thought … everything is wonderful.

My friends … at the house we were staying noticed it … and by golly … before I could say ' by your leave ' … they were smiling … teasing me … went out and got a bunch of beers … and we danced that night … like so many … native Americans … at the Chief's wedding. I woke up the next morning … and realized that … the love sense had been stimulated beyond … my ability to manage it. There was just one thing I could have done … write to her.

And so I did … and I received the reply. She said she considered me a friend and nothing more. My euphoria … descended like a lead ball … and I was completely devastated. It had me going completely restless … and I found myself addressing the aphorisms of a Sun Tzu … or a Don Juan … in attempting to manage the situation. I burnt the letter … in the kitchen sink … and watched it slowly turn into ashes. It felt like a friend had died … and the love impulse … that I had feeling … for a few days … was extinguished.

In the weeks that followed … I was wondering about the good intentions of friends. I thought I had been managing it fine … until they got into the act. But it was more than that. At home I was the first to make it to college … and it was always this and that … and I received a special note of attention … when I spoke or commented on issues. No doubt it felt good … but I wasn't prepared to deal with something like that. On reflection … my friends … in pushing me over the top … forced me to bring some attention to it.

I engage something similar in these times. In my individual discourses … thought … verbal speech or note making … I encounter something similar … in the way of friendly support … with regards to the issues. They relate to a common past ancestry. At WC … I sometimes receive a note … that offers friendship and support … and I appreciate that. It affirms the common sense of humanity … we have come to perceive here … in this place of network relation … and reflects the way we manage that ' one log ' of perceptions.

At Planetromeo … I've set up a Club … to examine issues of male sexuality … and the views offered by people like Blake … Mishima … Jung … and the like. Its called the … 21CenturyScribe … and its attracted a membership. The forum and the gallery … provide a wonderful opportunity to share in ideas … and I sometimes receive the good intentioned comments of members … whose communication … transparent at the open suggestion of intimacy … pounds at the adult shields … of our childhood oneness.

I am therefore reviewing my thoughts … on the insistence that trust is the basis of friendships. There must be several other factors … that forms the basis of the individual roles … we play in the context … of our common aims. When CCR broke up … I lamented the loss of a talented group of friends. But hearing John Fogerty describe it as … ' how do you work with a bunch of snakes?' … I was shocked to discover … a perfectly human condition … at the back of the wonderful aphorisms … in their songs. ' Proud Mary ' does indeed keep on rolling.

My thoughts go to the field in the Ukraine … where a bunch of soldiers … recently … sat at the console of a Buk missile system … and in common view … mistook a commercial airliner for an enemy aircraft. Friends help friends when they make a mistake. A dissenting view … voiced clearly … might have made the difference. Our world relations … creates a reliance on such an attitude.

Well that's it buddy. Looking forward to your reply .

Best regards

Dayran