The Wellspring of Being

No Reason

There's a place we go to sometimes … a place where there are no roadsigns … no street address … no physical reality. Yet its unlike dreams … its not the ephemeral nature of joys wound around the bed post of desires and wants. Its a place that rest between time … as if to suggest that we are not always an object that is acted upon … changed … and brought to a new experience of life's phenomenon. Its the wellspring of events … self induced … self acted … and self propelled into an experience of the world.

We are at a loss for words to explain it … unable to catch the intangibility of its being … yet we exist … and we know its an experience within our existence … in us? … in the nature of life? … the queries are endless. And if we left behind the tumultuous grapple with sight … vision … the physical … the meaning … and simply watched ourselves in wordless silence … we intuit its drifting image of form and the formless … come to and collected … in a place in our passions … in which it appears to be all. It takes place briefly … as if to hold it in place … is a matter of obsession or favoritism.

In a life lived seeking knowledge … we come to be familiar with the way … knowledge founds itself on a reflection of the activities of man … and as we study the intent … motivation … action … and achievement of our activities … we realize that we do it for the sake of knowledge. We apply that to the all important manner of expression of ourselves … individually and collectively … to present ourselves with a certain form of expression … in words that provides a fair view of what we are as humans.

We were here before … in this place … in the enthusiasm of youth … and the fiery will of the social reformer … now exhausted with effort … that achieved far more for our individual self than what it appears to have done for society … and we wonder about that. A fruit falling from a tree is attributed to the force of gravity. Yet when we seek to represent gravity we are only able to point to ourselves standing upright … and not floating away.

In much the same way … I bring myself to view the influence of my parents … family … friends … and realize that I'm unable to say where I stop … and ' they ' begin. In taking such a moment to view my experiences … I find myself opening to a field of all possibilities … taking place at random … without any effort on the part of the mind or the passions to capture the moment and to define it as belonging to the 21^st century … or to the identity of a nation … or its people. It feels like any experience we engage … belongs to everyone … and in that curious state of no further inquiries … I find myself like a traveler … floating in the wake of a phenomenon … that persuades me that its the final reality of being a man.

It intimates to me that it does move on … to take on new life and new form … in the ages ahead. And it provides curious hints of many possibilities … that point to an achievement of self love … that is durable … vanity that is secure … and a life that is all that we dreamt of … in the future. And it asks me to find in the teeming experience of the world today … the clues that point in that direction … and to share in the clandestine dreams of my fellowmen … the same pursuit.

I do get glimpses of it of course … but very little that I can actually share with my fellowmen in terms of speech. But the possibility of a husband and wife … living with a quintessential sharing of each others dreams in the life … of the instruments of his vanity … her oneness of being with the earth … sky … and elements … with such points in their relations. In sharing that with the spouse … it widens the scope of understanding for both of them … and grounds them solidly in the bedrock of being. No more gaps in their relations where the other may not follow.

For instance … I share in her many possibilities of phenomenon as Queen … Goddess … Dream girl … Earth and … my lover. However as the man in her life … we only share in that one relation as lovers … who have decided to keep each other company in this life. It entails my responsibilities of fatherhood … income … and family. My own possibilities take place in my relations with former associates … friends … the instruments of my expression … and the universal relation to creation. When something is amiss … she counsels patience … and provides encouragement … with an insight that transcends our physical relations … and understands my dreams. I reciprocate her gestures as well as I can.

It seems curious somehow … that in the neighborhood that I live … people such as me are living their lives as such … in a part dream … part vision … part physical experience of themselves. And yes … sometimes the clerk at the internet cafe is all thumbs … the waiter at the restaurant suddenly takes on a new familiarity about me … and the all day breakfast at Hungry Bear … provides an admirable substitute for my usual staple of rice with curry. I sometimes receive inquiries … on the nature of ethics. And sometimes these questions answer themselves … or as it often happens … it quickly denies its own validity … for lack of basis or premise. Its quite fun ... its new … its inspiring … and it makes me look forward to what's next.