The Swamy Guide to Nudity

Fried Onions and Towels

Good evening … I am pleased to present to you our topic today on ' nudity.' Now … you might ask ' what does a swamy know about nudity? Maybe we ought to get a porn star or a striptease at the club to do this. I very much disagree. There is a difference between me and the illustrious ladies mentioned. I for one cannot strip and create a demonstration of my presentation … too many hairs … old age … and the loss of my 6-pack … but whatever I lack in demonstration quality … I make up in meaning.

So … to get on with the presentation … I am pleased to say that in these times we are greatly blessed to be open on these issues even from the pulpit … on account of the issues afflicting … is afflicting the right word? … well … right … afflicting the society. Okay … in fact I only have one point to make about personal nudity. That is … personal nudity is only … or solely … and even singularly … the sole concern and point of pride of the individual only.

That means if you are stripping down … walking about nude in the house …. or at the computer … you ought to take several steps to ensure that you are not giving offence to yourself on account of these actions. That is true. When I used to be in the service of the Maharaja … oh! … right … that's another story actually. No … what I meant is that the body is comprising of living tissues and passions that are at this time in the world … very active in their natures. They create subtle responses that we must create awareness of.

Its on account of the practices of greater attentiveness that has come about in our societies. Its the waking of the lifestyle of the ' eternal now ' … and these days we are twice as likely to dismiss the nonsense comments we come across than before. India … India … oh I'm sorry this has nothing to do with India … only! … only! … I meant its a phenomenon in the whole world.

Okay … back to nudity. I'm saying you can get to a ripe old age and yet not lose your feel of the sexy that you are … and that applies equally to both sexes. How? Follow these steps. Any time you are taking all your clothes off … create some awareness about your expression of the nude body … it happens to think that its the greatest genius of creation since the giant pythons. Also keep in mind that there are issues in creation about the unity of what we are and our experience of duality and the division.

To be nude and exposed casually is to train oneself in the duality … but you think you got enough of that … then use a towel to promote a companionship with another. You see the work of the muladior and buladior continues … then there's the issue of the body-mind thinking it created the mind which the mind vehemently opposes. Ok … ok … I'm not going into that … that's for students of tantra.

But … oh yes … how do you use a towel? This point is not properly understood even by the wise. You see ( demonstrates ) you take the diagonally opposite corners of the towel … then you put one end under the left armpit … then you swing the towel around your body and bring the other end to position under the same left armpit. Then you can do your surfing … or contemplation … or even making love to your partner. It has a sexy feel … and by keeping that arm close to the body it promotes the touch the body pines for … on account of the nudity.

We simply put on a towel like that! … and then we forget about it! … that's not right … the contact must be maintained … until you switch to something else. Good. Of course you will be looking like Fred Flinstone and Wilma but I'm thinking that is entirely coincidental. We are not at this time rehearsing for the saturday funnies but the civil idea may have caused a burden on many and its sometimes good to just break free and understand the undomesticated freedom we experienced from long ago.

Achah. And so I'll end my talk here. Its raining … and that means the earth is pleased. No … not really raining! … the mind agrees with the passions on the issues … that's the river Ganga from heaven at one time which corresponds today with the river Eridanus. And that's like saying … as we get more tech we are going to get more nudity because we have to mix the experience for the tech mind to get further. Too intense … and the wires will melt … and so the purpose of our talk today.