Chap 13 : The Goddess Saga

Love and the Unforgiven

A Goddess is a role. It comes to a person … who by a curious turn of circumstances … find themselves … entirely without a notion of self. Such a person finds in their experience … a curious cessation of anger and rage … as if a rainstorm had extinguished all her fires. Students of faith … spend years trying to cultivate … such an attitude in themselves. But an attitude is not a way of life's perception. It just happens.

There's a story about Goddesses … that says that … she knew a man once. Such a man he was … that she could find none other … to substitute for his thoughtfulness … and attention. He had brought the world to her … the winds would whisper sweet nothings in her ear … the birds would bring flowers … and the fragrance of the countryside would rise to meet her. She didn't care much for it though … she simply wanted to love her man.

Then it happened. Like a forest fire … struck by lightning … she lost it all. He had grown vain … she thought. He was only thinking about himself … why? … because he brought all those lovely things of the world … for her … and he loved himself for it. She realized then … why he had given her all these gifts … because he wanted to be able to love himself … for his own sake. She was furious … and placed a curse on him … that he will one day … find a woman who will love him … and bring the world to him … and then walk away to love herself.

After some years … with some grey in her hair … she came to a situation of being totally empty … of it all. And then it happened … she saw herself again … as the world … with no fragrance … no gifts … no whispers by the wind … and the birds didn't bring any flowers. Then she met him … well she didn't actually meet him … but she was him. And she saw him in everyman … woman … and child. It was her love … transformed into living persons … in the world.

Then she remembered her awful curse … and frantically tried to change it … but the powers that be refused to allow her to change it. ' He didn't know what he was doing?” she cried. ' Oh … he knew it all right … ' came the reply … ' and he's paying for it. See for yourself … .' Her eyes closed and in her mind's eye … she saw him in a sea of fire … lost with no way to go. She hoped desperately to reach him … but the flames kept her back. She called the birds … the fragrances … but they will not deliver her messages. But the wind … paused with her … and told her it'll take the message … but not the one she wanted to send.

Just tell him ' I love him ' … she yelled but they ignored her. She called to her friends … the cherubs … and scolded them for being mean. But they just laughed mischievously. The swans flew in another direction when they saw her. She collapsed in a heap … and cried uncontrollably. ' Why? Why?' she asked over and over again. ' Because you don't love him,' replied the brook … gurgling its way downstream.

The story ends with the two of them meeting some years later. He was looking rather well. ' Did anybody at all deliver my message,' she asked. ' The wind … ' he replied casually. She sighed a relief. ' Actually … that's not the first message I wanted to send ' she said ruefully. ' I know,' he replied.

'She's such a liar ' said the brook to the wind. ' She should have just told him … she'll never forgive him … in the first place ' replied the wind.