Chap 1 :The Birth of Dies*

The Cycles of Life

Its a girl I used to know. Her full name is WDW. That's like an acronym for … yeah … windows. Not the software made famous by Microsoft. But a house with many windows … each opening to a world of sights … sound … and passions. WDW stands for Who Does What … that could also be translated as … did … doing … done … does. I used to listen to her as a child … as she went on about a great many things. Let me tell you more …

When I first became conscious of DW … she was talking about how things were made … and how they came into being. She referred to them as if they were so many toys … in the playpen … but gradually moved on to speak of them as the world. My mother referred to her as Pancha Varnam or the five colors. To everyone else I came across … they responded as if she was always there … and we were all in someway … children of the universe … discovering ourselves as new experiences.

DW had a twin … whose name was … Queen. A long time ago … DW had found herself all alone in the great big universe. As usual … she had gone on about who does what. Queen had been listening to her chatter … and found herself surrounded by crystals of matter … like a dress … and soon came to represent all of what DW was saying. In time she came to represent herself as Queen of the great empire … that ruled the world.

In time a child was born to DW. She called him Dies. Dies was the perpetual youth who kept reflecting on what he was doing and finally came to believe that there was another just like him. He always spoke to DW of this other … that he called OJ … who went to live in the world and meet Queen. I met OJ as I got past my adolescence and came into my teen years. He was a body of light that I perceived with my internal senses … and he concerned himself with knowledge and understanding of things.

On reflection … nobody had told me what to do in life. I had just drifted along with OJ … sharing in everything that he brought to my experience. Curiously … as I excelled in school … I realized that … I had become the source of knowledge and understanding … and OJ had gone back to stay with Dies. Dies then came to confront me … calling me a thief … cheat … and liar. He claimed that I had taken from OJ what was his … and I should give it back. He warned me of dire consequences if I refused.

I was starting to feel an anxiety come on … that developed into a fear of the unknown. It oriented me to a closer relations with my father image and my friends. I guess in some way I was seeking to protect myself … from the threat that I felt. But it didn't help very much. Two years later … at 19 … everything I had come to know and understand … collapsed. My world had been destroyed. I couldn't take a thought … even to try to understand what had happened. Then DW started again … and I started to listen.

*Note : The name Dies is in reference to day in Latin … which is used to refer to the cherubs … who represent the birth of life … the soul … space of time ... lifetime ... and the basis of the life force. In Indic literature … this is expected to correspond to … the Impersonal Brahman ( non-form ) as compared to the Personal Brahman experience of form. In non-form the impersonal appears as light … discernible to the eye … and to the mind's understanding of the feelings that it evokes.