Steering the Fatigue

The Autumnal Legends Series : V

Exhaustion … particularly care-giver fatigue … makes for a powerful impact in our social experiences. A mother may on occasion just yell at the kids … she realizes later she doesn't know where that came from. God … they sometimes say … tosses us out … care-giver fatigue?

 

I started on a short story about a relationship between a psychology professor at an American university and a young tutor from Chile. The purpose was to create a setting to examine same sex issues close up. I couldn't go on … the fact is I don't know enough.

 

I managed to get in about 5 pages as a preamble to the pillars in their relations. And then I found something strange taking place … the younger man from Chile was in some ways managing the older professor and steering him deeper into the subtleties of the relation. I may have stopped because there are common areas between myself and the older professor. But there was more.

 

A sudden feeling of fatigue overcame me … over the experience of love, concerns and self-fulfillment. Just … tired … over the issues. In that fatigue I encountered something quite peculiar. I had stopped at a DVD shop in the area to pick up some new movies and spotted one by a popular American actor … curiously the sense of fatigue identified with him and seemed to be figure it  ' knows ' him.

 

The experience put me in touch with the one thing I have been working at my entire adult life. Its impossible to know someone else that way … no way! … I don't care how perceptive I may be with issues but perceptions rely on a logical standard … they are not knowledge that way … certainly not knowledge about another person whose life is lived someplace else.

 

I think I used to call it instinct when young but that ought to be separated from the definition of knowledge. One man is sort of like another man and so on … that works as children … but not in an adult world that includes privacy, rights of individuals, personality, the life-force and physical contact on issues. Its only by respecting the privacy of others do we experience our right to privacy.

 

The principle of oneness and the equality of all men does not over-ride the physical nature of our social identities and individual form. It exists in cognition of the separation and our relations on account of that. Put together it is viewed as a world humanity … where we may view that world identity as our collective will which serves humanity by its own humane understanding. Its an identity of the creative forces … the ' I ' of the universe.

 

In viewing such a phenomenon of experience we sometimes ascribe it to God or else we are at a loss to explain it. It is however possible for man to relate to that … as progeny or as that which we referred to as divine forces. In doing so the man makes himself known to that … and cultivates a relation … we are a part of its experience of itself … that part that helps it to understand itself.