Chaos Rising

Notes about the self : I

It feels nice to shut down once a while. The concerns of caring and the passions they engender is sometimes too much to carry about. Its nice to simply cut and let go.

When a person does that something curious emerges. Its as if the passions have sprung eyes and they rise in the mind to take a look at the individual. They intimate times in which they was no caring ... simply mechanical robots that went about their work methodically to finish what they started. No clues ... no inspiration for what it does ... only that it does so.

How it must have longed for something that didn't work, which was not perfect, that was filled with contortions of tales that never added up to anything sensible. That certainly was another time in creation.

In these days of the touch-screen cellphones we seem to be rising from past wishes that sought chaos. We appear to be putting ourselves back into some semblance of order ... and it feels nice to be thought of as orderly, to be understood by others and for us to understand ourselves. 

In chaos we miss the orderly and in the orderly we miss the passion ... of surprises ... of being in danger and then being rescued ... the beginning of traumas that would resurface only years later. I imagined myself the wired contraption at the beginning of time that grew overly fond of dreams and then fell into the world of animals here on earth. Then ... rose again on feeble feet and found the nature of man ... and thereafter an understanding of God.

It wouldn't be long now before I leave the experience of man to venture into a being of the future. Its appears to be part wired tech and part impulse. Its male in the mind but female in the tissues ... expresses no clear will to like or dislike but accepts everything as just so. It would be new ... but I continue to worry about whether I switched the iron off after leaving the house ... so I don't think I'm going to be that far gone. 

Thinking ... choices ... deciding ... then living our decisions ... whoever planned life on earth knew what he/she was doing. One of my guides intimated to me if I would like to be a whale on the next life. The food is plentiful ... travel, great ... and no worries. Yeah ... I dunno ...