Pawn

A homework assignment Composition 1

I no longer belong to humanity, for some time ago. 

I lost my sanity.

Echoes of laughter, rings of joy.

I no longer, am your toy.

From morning till night, dusk till dawn.

A simple pawn. 

No longer, no more.

Ill sprout wings, and start to soar. 

I'm done with these strings.

Wait, stop! Those are my wings.

Your words are heavy, I can't keep strait.

No matter the struggle, its simply to much weight. 

Steady decline, my pride.

Rapid growth, my jealousy.

The great decent, my body.

A welcome gift, the ground.

A meaningless death, can I be found?

Author's Note

I would like some feedback on this, as we were asked to write a poem about anything. I didn't really have anything to go off of. So I just let my fingers go wild, and my brain go wherever it pleases. Not worth a turn in? What do you think?

Reviews

[Seanalee La Vonne]

I really like the meaning behind this poem. My only advise would be to add some more words to it. I'm certainly not a poetry expert, but I feel you have some really great potential with this, I just believe a bit more description would make this poem more effective to the reader :) I did however like it!

[Insight "MH"]

I'll sprout wings, and start to soar.

I'm done with these strings.

Wait, stop! Those are my wings.

These lines show how strong the effect of that person on the speaker who was trying to free himself from being used again, but couldn't fly far due to some strings that were attached in this relationship.
This was a lovely read, thank you for sharing.

Insight.

[Daydreaming]

Thanks for reading and comment ^.^

[Insight "MH"]

You are welcome.

[Bohrium Guy]

Wow your imagery and wording really were on target. Great work here... Thanks for sharing this piece.

Hats off!

~Rob~

[PHFASCES]

Its very expository on actual things that happen and goes into a form of introspection one goes through when they have had enough of other people's crap.
I would add a bit more imagery and play around on events that people go through. but that's me.
I really enjoyed it.

[Daydreaming]

Thanks, Ill look into that ^.^

[Rose Jaeger Kaneki]

i think this is a amazing poem, my friend