She lay spread before me atop her hillside bed, beneath a glistening blanket of pure white. Her virulent attack upon my mind beckons, “come hither, and lie with me this night.”
Peering stares from all around were Iris eyes of chambermaids, dressed in lovely satin gowns of lilac mauve and yellow.Beside the woodland's babbling brook, insects waltzed on saffron threads to alluring tones of nature’s strumming cello.
As if a vine of ivy, toxic illusion begins its curling climb, creeping over landscapes designed within my mind. I, with watchful eye, beheld sweet petal’s slow demise as her beauty paled at the touch of death’s cold bite, her elemental grandeur gone, beneath the earth her lusty bulb, enshrined.
Silently she bowed her head, a gentle spasm and now she’s dead. As a lover, after release, she awaits rebirth, when once again her beauty shall throng this fruitful earth.
Alas, lost love vindicated, my phantasm incubated, giving life and substance to m'lady temptress, a lustrous crocus lady indeed.
This piece was written as a challenge given to me by a friend. He presented a word-bank consisting of: Notated, substance, babble, vindicate(ion), spasm (s), yelp, vine, ivy, crocus, phantasm, cathode, kismet, virulent, elemental & yelp.
It was not necessary to utilize all of them, but I managed to use quite a few. It's still a work in progress as I am unsatisfied with a few things. BUT, as a great poet once said: A poem is never finished, only abandoned!
Although this piece is written from a gentleman's perspective; I am a female. There was no other way to approach this write due to the simple fact: it's written regarding a flower - the crocus lady.
My Review
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This was a great answer to a worthy challenge. I thoroughly enjoyed the poem. Beautifully written, I find myself reading it over and over.......and probably will continue to do so. I am very selective on what types of poetry I read. It has to grab me, or it doesn't hold my interest. "Lady Temptress" grabbed, and held my attention from start to finish. In this piece the author has penned a breathtaking example of how great poetry should be written. Well done!
I felt like I was in another time/place, and so poised and elegant I
felt. There was also a taste of the forbidden, scandalous. I loved
these stanzas: Silently she bowed her head, a gentle spasm and now she's dead. As a lover, after release, she awaits rebirth, when once again her beauty shall throng this fruitful earth.
Those lines really stuck out in a dreamy sort of way. This is a great read!
this is prose as it should always be. You've done a fantastic job. There is only one minor change that I would make ... it is to change the & to "and". 100 daisies for you. You've said that you wish you could "write" like "Layde" you've accomplished just that. This is beauty ... painted in perfect prose.
If anyone, male or female, who reads this great effort, does not as they are drawn into its depths, begin to feel like that flower, live and die like that flower, then they have never read great poetry and should excuse themselves from planet poem. A great write and a beautiful read.
A reflection of the author's own heart
there are many introspective facets lacing
the concept together.. I loved this piece..
its touching and composed.. You have an awsome way with words..
I'm hidden amongst the rambling rose, entwined within my rambling proseplease beware of the thorns.
I'm a budding new writer who hasn't got a clue. I love words, but only know a few. I'm.. more..