Chilling Whispers

Metaphorically Rich

 

 

 Our inner voice hears

    What you think it does not...

Wind whispers truth destroy is the plot!

 

IT MATTERS NOT
 

    H o w cold

  H o w brutal 

   H o w brittle

 

Their faltered assessment tends to mean very little.

 

Below freezing force, chilling frail bones,

Cold burning lungs lay crying alone.

 

Benumbed by the blast, such a frigid disturbance,

Blue in the face from feigning forbearance.

 

Wound in the whirlwind of cold-hearted prattle,

Storm clouds arise, we’re forced into battle.

 

Withered and broken by a ruinous cold snap,

   Rendered quite useless-

 

 A byword

  A joke

 

Your nocuous mishap…

 

Who will survive this tumultuous fray?

Deafening winds threaten as we face a new day.

 

Gripped by the fear of cold’s burst on the morrow,

 

 Destined to collapse beneath the WEIGHT of such sorrow.

        

     Will you spew out your venom tomorrow?
 

 

Author's Note

Our words do one of two things: create a warm inviting atmosphere or leave you to fight the brutal cold.

Reviews

[Vanusa]

Wow! this poem is amazing!

The alliteration of brutal and brittle is very well-done! and then you follow with the rhyme "little"... It is nice.
"Blue in the face from feigning forbearance?" Well-done also!

I just didn't get why the entire poem is centralized. I don't know, if you like it, it's fine... I usually use it to emphasize something, and not in the entire poem...

The way you use the pronoms we (our voice), and you (what you think) is very ambiguous... Did you plan on it? Is the reader part of the we? or the you? Later on, there is also "their" and then you get back to you and we again. It is a lot of diferent people! It all depends on what your intentions were, though...

As I said before, it is a great poem... hope my review will be helpful.

[julian3]

I agree - the style and format add to the overall impact of this very strong piece; the words chosen convey deep emotional context beyond what appears within the verse, as if this was written from an intensely personal perspective, but either way, the power comes across clearly.
BTW - sometime you might wish to read one of my own works called 'the wall' and see if you feel that some of the images and emotions expressed are comparable to yours.

[RivkaZ]

My god, I love it! There's something about the meter of this poem that lends it a genuine profundity. I so seldom find rhyming poems that I enjoy any more- this is truly refreshing.