Chilling Whispers

Metaphorically Rich

 

 

 Our inner voice hears

    What you think it does not...

Wind whispers truth destroy is the plot!

 

IT MATTERS NOT
 

    H o w cold

  H o w brutal 

   H o w brittle

 

Their faltered assessment tends to mean very little.

 

Below freezing force, chilling frail bones,

Cold burning lungs lay crying alone.

 

Benumbed by the blast, such a frigid disturbance,

Blue in the face from feigning forbearance.

 

Wound in the whirlwind of cold-hearted prattle,

Storm clouds arise, we’re forced into battle.

 

Withered and broken by a ruinous cold snap,

   Rendered quite useless-

 

 A byword

  A joke

 

Your nocuous mishap…

 

Who will survive this tumultuous fray?

Deafening winds threaten as we face a new day.

 

Gripped by the fear of cold’s burst on the morrow,

 

 Destined to collapse beneath the WEIGHT of such sorrow.

        

     Will you spew out your venom tomorrow?
 

 

Author's Note

Our words do one of two things: create a warm inviting atmosphere or leave you to fight the brutal cold.

Reviews

[Vanusa]

Wow! this poem is amazing!

The alliteration of brutal and brittle is very well-done! and then you follow with the rhyme "little"... It is nice.
"Blue in the face from feigning forbearance?" Well-done also!

I just didn't get why the entire poem is centralized. I don't know, if you like it, it's fine... I usually use it to emphasize something, and not in the entire poem...

The way you use the pronoms we (our voice), and you (what you think) is very ambiguous... Did you plan on it? Is the reader part of the we? or the you? Later on, there is also "their" and then you get back to you and we again. It is a lot of diferent people! It all depends on what your intentions were, though...

As I said before, it is a great poem... hope my review will be helpful.

[BlotchyQuill]

I thought it was really amazing and descriptive and just plain....WOW. I enjoy your writing a lot!

[Damien Dsoul]

The style is unique and chilling to the bone. It's more like words being whispered into my ears: the intriguing word arrangement only seems to heighten that perception for me as I read through the lines.

[Mercury Mirrors]

I love the form, so origional! And the choice of words is beautiful. Great write. :]

[B.S. Hartman]

I still have goose bumps from this one. The style is definitely unique and your words are a power house that takes your breath and halts it for a second mid throat. If you are not a writer and this is done by a magic pen, please tell me where there might be another to be acquired. You are a sorcerer of the pen.

[The realest]

Again the style and format delivered the piece to its full effects- awsome

[vanishing]

Wow, you know exactly what you are doing
beautifully written
as your words speak on many levels in context to
the metaphorical meaning.
"chilling whsipers
forboding rapture,
stellar form and wording.

This is a well written piece of poetry! I liked the structure. It added more power to what you were saying.
Great write!

[Melissa]

I find the poem to be very truth revealing to human nature. The tongue is a weapon that flames so many of mankind's turmoils.

Excellent piece for me personally

[Deepshikha]

I like your style of this, and especially how you rhymed. To me, it's like a story, and my brain is working on finishing it.
Lovely write!