Chapter Two- Decision

-Eleanor makes a decision about the baby-

I was going crazy. I was pacing around my room as the rain beat on my windows, my head throbbing from thinking. I groaned as I sank down on the bed, clasping my head between my hands. A stray tear rolled down my cheek and I brushed it away furiously, my fist clenching. I longed to grab something and smash it to bits, just like my heart was being smashed to bits. I couldn't tell my parents, I couldn't They'd kill me. They'd already warned me not to let anything like this happen while I was at college. My schooling, my career, everything would disappear from the surface. I was so close to receiving my degree in economics and business administration. I had hoped to become a PA somewhere, and travel the world. I could forget that dream if I planned on bearing this child. I had two more months to go, and then I'd have my diploma. With three weeks along, I couldn't hide my stomach for that long. Or could I?

As my spirits rose, I opened my laptop and quickly logged in. Opening up a Google page, I quickly typed in my question and scrolled down until I found a professional pregnancy site. I knew this site was professional, because my cousin got her information from here when she was pregnant. The difference between her and I is that she's 29, happily married and had her career. 

My excitement rose when I read that it usually takes up till twelve weeks for a first-time pregnant woman to show her baby bump. I could finish college, get my degree and then after the baby came, I could have it adopted and go to work. Until then, I would have to find an appartment to live in, because I knew my parents would kick me out. My dad being a strict CEO, and my mom a strict lawyer, they didn't believe in having kids this early in life. They had taught Em and I that from the very beginning, telling us career went first, and then, with the right partner, you could think about having kids. 

I wouldn't tell my parents until I finished college, I decided. I'd live here, finish my classes, and then I'd tell them, after getting my degree. Pleased with my plan, I closed my laptop and hurried to Em's room. It was closed, and I hesitated before rapping my knuckles agains the white-washed wood.

''Who is it?'' Em asked, sounding tearful. I bit my lip, feeling guilty at causing her all this pain.

''Me,'' I whispered, resting my head against the wood.

The door creaked and opened the slightest bit. I lifted my head and looked straight into Em's tear-filled eyes. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she looked pale. I swallowed, feeling my own tears well up.

''Em-'' I started, choking up. ''I-I'm sorry.''

''Me too,'' she whispered, looking down. ''It's your choice, El. You should do what you think is right. I just-''

''No,'' I interrupted. ''You were right. I can't abort. It's not an option. I have a plan, though.''

Emily took a deep breath. ''Come in.''

I slipped through the small opening and headed for the bed. Em sat down next to me silently. I took a second to think over what I was going to say, and began. When I finished, Emily was looking at me, her eyes filled with doubt.

''El-'' she faltered. ''Do you really think this could work? You know mom and dad as well as I do. They find out everything.''

''Not when I'm at college most of the time. Listen, Em, I don't know what else to do. At least when I have a degree I can get a job and earn money to live in my own appartment. I have to do this, Em, I can't get anywhere without a degree,'' I pleaded, begging her to understand. 

Emily didn't answer, she bit her lip and stared at the floor.

''I'm nineteen, Em!'' I held back tears. ''I'm nineteen, almost twenty, and I'm having a baby. I have my whole life in front of me, and I can't give it up! I know it sounds selfish, and I feel selfish, but I can't let my mistake and moment of stupidity ruin my life. The best thing I can do for this baby is let another, more capable family take care of it. I would be a single mom, struggling to make my child a proper living. I can't let it live that way.''

Emily slowly nodded, before throwing her arms around me and pulling me close. The tears flowed freely then, bringing us closer together than we had ever been before. 

Author's Note

In a rush of inspiration I wrote the second chapter as well- now I'm off to work on the third :D

Reviews

[Mary]

I like Eleanor! I'm interested to know more about her- what are her hopes and dreams? what's her major? what kind of work does she want to do? Who is daddy? I like her sister too. Keep up the good work, brainstorm, write, edit, set aside, re-read, edit repeat until you get that A-HA moment. Your writing will let you know when you are done.

[Lavorther]

I'm glad she decided to keep the baby, although that will probably cause a lot of problems for her later. I'm really enjoying this story, and I'm looking forward to the next chapters.

There was one part that felt a bit off:
"I couldn't tell my parents, I couldn't They'd kill me."
Although you missed a period here, you could even remove the entire second "I couldn't". It's kinda repetitive, and I don't think it adds a lot to the overall meaning of the paragraph.

You also might consider increasing the length of the chapters. Most chapters I write are about the same length, and I get that advice a lot. But with something that wasn't written by me, I'm starting to see they were right. As for what length you should make the next chapter, I would try twice the length of this one, for starters.