The Barge and the Bride

I was having a meal, steak egg and chips

At the Humpty Dumpty Inn,

Next to the Curly-Wyrley Cut

Where the Curly bits begin,

When I heard a shout from a passing barge

‘You’d better duck!’ it said,

Then the bone from a monster ham flew up

And it hit me in the head!

 

I fell to the crazy paving, gathered

My wits, and looked around,

And there was Joe on the ‘Autumn Queen’

With his daughter, Maggie Browne,

He’d said something to stir her blood

And she’d thrown the bone at him,

But missed - and always the lucky one,

I’d caught it on the chin!

 

‘I’ll get you back for this,’ I yelled,

And I shook my fist at her,

But she just laughed, and stuck her foot

On the prow, to bait my glare,

She slowly pulled her dress right up

To the thigh, and showed a leg,

‘If you can beat us to Walsall Lock

You can have me, we’ll be wed!’

 

I gathered Flynn and we hitched the horse

And we set off in pursuit,

But our old Barge was slow, and Jessie

The horse was old, to boot,

We carried a hundred tons of coal

And the going would be slow,

But Maggie had always turned me down

In the past… I’d let her go!

 

She knew I only had eyes for her,

She’d played me like a fool,

She’d flirt, then gather her skirts and run,

It seemed to be the rule,

I knew she wanted away from Joe

So this could be my chance,

She’d never gone back on her word before,

Was she ripe for a new romance?

 

They’d left us a half a mile behind

As we got her under way,

This dirty Barge with the fancy name

That I’d christened ‘Mandalay’,

But Flynn got Jessie to heave and strain

And we made four miles an hour,

If we could beat her to Walsall Lock

Then I’d have her in my power!

 

The towpath changed to the other side

At a tiny hump-backed bridge,

Flynn had to lead the horse across

Then down, and under the ledge,

We called it ‘threading the needle’ then,

By keeping the rope attached,

We’d made a couple of hundred yards

On the Barge we wanted to catch.

 

The sun went down and the stars came out

I could see their lights ahead,

Their cabin gave out a cosy glow

As the thought rushed through my head,

That all was fair in love and war

I ran along the bank,

Then hidden in darkness up ahead

I unhitched their horse, called ‘Hank!’

 

Their Barge was dead in the water

When we passed them at nine o’clock,

By ten, I saw it ahead, the lights

And the gates of Walsall Lock,

Then out of the gloom I heard a sigh

As Maggie appeared in the dark,

And raised her face as the moon came up

So I kissed her, there by the Lock!

 

David Lewis Paget

 

(For our American readers, the ‘Curly-Wyrley

was the Wyrley and Essington Canal - ‘the Cut’

as we used to call canals, where I came from in

Birmingham, England. It had more twists and

turns than any canal in England, thus the

‘Curly-Wyrley’. During the Industrial Revolution

Canals were major transport hubs, valuable for the

Transport of coal from the midlands, and whole

families lived and eked out a living on these barges).

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

I find this a humorous love chase and wonderful to read because it is fast-paced and vibrant, thoughts and emotions clearly laid out with a tinge of excitement at the pursuit, and then the romantic finale in the last lines perfected by a kiss. Excellently written and the footnotes aided much in creating a vivid mental picture of the narrative's setting. Well-written and excellent, as always, and I salute my mentor - David.

[Leigh]

There is always a great deal of excitement and accurate description in your poetry, there is so much in there in fact. I like the image of the girl teasing you by raising up her skirt to lure you in, thats a real hook line and sets the chase sequence and whole story going. I am thrown back in time with the traditional backdrop of the locks you describe and I really like the way the poem ends with a possible new beginning.

[Ama May Cooper]

This was a lovely little ditty, flowed with a certain elegance.
I love the innocence of it all, the playfulness of your characters and i couldn't help but feel enough for them that i was generally happy he one his girl.
Lovely work

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

This was a mad chase and I found myself cheering and urging on your hero! I felt sure he was going to miss it. YEAH!

[Michael X]

David, you deliver epic tales of life love and tragedy, wisdom and insight
that transports the reader to another place and time, I love this.

[Patrick]

exemplary work and such a treat to have a read...i do think the way in which your story and its content is what stands out. Wonder if you have ever come across this irish lyrics http://www.6lyrics.com/horse_it_into_ya_cynthia-lyrics-conal_gallen.aspx

[Bryan Micheni]

i like this write. good imagery used

[Morrigan Nicole]

As always a humorous, and delightful tale!

[Tate Morgan]

There is something so timeless about your work. I am always going to be grateful for the opportunity to have seen these works created in real time.We don't have to read about some moldering poet from the middle ages anymore .We have the living breathing real deal in Paget Some day hence I shall tell my granddaughter how i use to correspond with the great Paget. Who made me feel at home as he spun his rustic tales of a life well lived.As a child i set around the pot bellied stove to listen to men from my grandfathers generation spin yarns of the horse racing days of old.Te hardships and eccentrics of their time.I think your work will enlighten the classrooms of all the major and minor colleges of the future.They will look back romanticizing the day and say what a great time Paget lived in.That must have been a swashbuckling life and time for a real man to live in. As we know it is a collection of ones adventures paired with a keen eye for emotional detail and imagination that create these things. Following the rules of the book no one ever creates a masterpiece .It is similar to painting by numbers. True works are as unique as they are interesting. Such is the work of the masters.