The Barge and the Bride

I was having a meal, steak egg and chips

At the Humpty Dumpty Inn,

Next to the Curly-Wyrley Cut

Where the Curly bits begin,

When I heard a shout from a passing barge

‘You’d better duck!’ it said,

Then the bone from a monster ham flew up

And it hit me in the head!

 

I fell to the crazy paving, gathered

My wits, and looked around,

And there was Joe on the ‘Autumn Queen’

With his daughter, Maggie Browne,

He’d said something to stir her blood

And she’d thrown the bone at him,

But missed - and always the lucky one,

I’d caught it on the chin!

 

‘I’ll get you back for this,’ I yelled,

And I shook my fist at her,

But she just laughed, and stuck her foot

On the prow, to bait my glare,

She slowly pulled her dress right up

To the thigh, and showed a leg,

‘If you can beat us to Walsall Lock

You can have me, we’ll be wed!’

 

I gathered Flynn and we hitched the horse

And we set off in pursuit,

But our old Barge was slow, and Jessie

The horse was old, to boot,

We carried a hundred tons of coal

And the going would be slow,

But Maggie had always turned me down

In the past… I’d let her go!

 

She knew I only had eyes for her,

She’d played me like a fool,

She’d flirt, then gather her skirts and run,

It seemed to be the rule,

I knew she wanted away from Joe

So this could be my chance,

She’d never gone back on her word before,

Was she ripe for a new romance?

 

They’d left us a half a mile behind

As we got her under way,

This dirty Barge with the fancy name

That I’d christened ‘Mandalay’,

But Flynn got Jessie to heave and strain

And we made four miles an hour,

If we could beat her to Walsall Lock

Then I’d have her in my power!

 

The towpath changed to the other side

At a tiny hump-backed bridge,

Flynn had to lead the horse across

Then down, and under the ledge,

We called it ‘threading the needle’ then,

By keeping the rope attached,

We’d made a couple of hundred yards

On the Barge we wanted to catch.

 

The sun went down and the stars came out

I could see their lights ahead,

Their cabin gave out a cosy glow

As the thought rushed through my head,

That all was fair in love and war

I ran along the bank,

Then hidden in darkness up ahead

I unhitched their horse, called ‘Hank!’

 

Their Barge was dead in the water

When we passed them at nine o’clock,

By ten, I saw it ahead, the lights

And the gates of Walsall Lock,

Then out of the gloom I heard a sigh

As Maggie appeared in the dark,

And raised her face as the moon came up

So I kissed her, there by the Lock!

 

David Lewis Paget

 

(For our American readers, the ‘Curly-Wyrley

was the Wyrley and Essington Canal - ‘the Cut’

as we used to call canals, where I came from in

Birmingham, England. It had more twists and

turns than any canal in England, thus the

‘Curly-Wyrley’. During the Industrial Revolution

Canals were major transport hubs, valuable for the

Transport of coal from the midlands, and whole

families lived and eked out a living on these barges).

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

I find this a humorous love chase and wonderful to read because it is fast-paced and vibrant, thoughts and emotions clearly laid out with a tinge of excitement at the pursuit, and then the romantic finale in the last lines perfected by a kiss. Excellently written and the footnotes aided much in creating a vivid mental picture of the narrative's setting. Well-written and excellent, as always, and I salute my mentor - David.

[Becky C Strukamp]

I love it! A whimsical tale of chasing love. You mastered this with such ease. thanks for the authors note as I was wondering what that was...

Again you wow me with your tales.

[FocusedAmnesia]

The minute I started reading this, I felt like there was a... folk-like melody playing in the background. It flows so easily, and I imagined it to have this catchy background. It was just an amazing read.
Oh, and thinks for the tid-bit at the end, haha, I had no idea what the 'Curly-Wyrley' was.

[tynamite]

I like your usage of rhythm and pacing.

[Kacee]

Story in the form of a poem. I loved it!

[Manpreet]

The sun went down and the stars came out

I could see their lights ahead,

Their cabin gave out a cosy glow

As the thought rushed through my head,

That all was fair in love and war

I ran along the bank,

Then hidden in darkness up ahead

I unhitched their horse, called ‘Hank!’


Simply artistic !!!

haha oh wow this is really really good! I was hooked from the beginning! You have such an amazing writing talent :) I was excited to find out if he got her, but sad when it ended. Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece :D

[A Jainam Mehta]

Hats off Sir. You write stories with poetry effect very smoothly, and I like such poems.

[therin]

Fantastic! Had the sort of pounding beat that gave me flashes of Clancy of the Overflow or the Highwayman. Amazing that you've managed to capture the feel of those barge times, the threading of the needle, the wheezing of the old horses as they dragged through the locks, and all of it seemingly incidental to the romance, gritty, folksy and real in the feel of the characters. You've given them history and substance, crass and cares, loved it.

Thank you.

[Zackery Alan Daley]

DEFF 100/100 Great job so many metaphors and actual references. Bravo

[Emerald Seas]

You tell such magnificent tales in your poetry. This is another epic story told with a quickened pace full of twists and turns to captivate your reader. Well done - as is expected from you, David!