The Ventriloquist

An angry roar from the cheaper seats
Had followed them both outside,

Out of the rear, by the actor’s door

They looked for a place to hide,

Lord Jimmy’s coat had seen better days,

His shoes were muddy and dull,

And Bodger’s hat was crushed and dismayed

As he held it close to his skull!

 

‘Look what you’ve brought us to, sir,’ he said,

Flapping his wooden jaw,

‘Out in the cold on a Saturday night;

It never does rain, but it pours!’

Jimmy had tucked him right under his arm

And kept to the brickworks wall,

The shadows were long on the Old Kent Road

As the rain had begun to fall!

 

‘Oh Great!’ the Bodger had spat in the dark,

As he scraped his head on a brick,

Taking a layer of varnish off,

And making him feel quite sick!

‘It’s cold and wet, and my head will swell

If the rain gets into my wood…’

‘If you don’t shut up, I’ll brain you first!

Let that be understood!’

 

So off they marched, on into the night

To look for a place to sleep,

A laundry, stables, a bed of straw,

A station, hotel, or keep.

The rain set in as a drizzle out there

And soaked to the skin and bone,

Soaked through their coats to the varnish and wood

 If the truth of the case be known.

 

‘I told you that ‘Bodger’s’ a lousy name,

You know you can’t mention a ‘B’,

The audience knew you were moving your lips,

Every ‘b’, every ‘v’, every ‘p’.’

‘You think you’re so smart,’ Lord Jimmy replied,

‘I’m sick of you flapping your jaw,

If you can do better…’ - he stopped and he sighed,

His gaze cast down to the floor.

 

They walked and they walked through Bermondsey

Where the might of the Thames still flows,

While Bodger had wriggled his eyebrows once,

And sniffed through his dripping red nose.

‘I hope that you’re planning to dry me out,

My clothes are starting to shrink!’

‘I’ll turn you into a scarecrow, then;

They’ll be laughing at that, I think!’

 

The Dummy had flung him about at that,

And clocked Jimmy under the jaw,

Who fell in a heap like a worthless rat,

While Bodger stood tall, and swore,

He kicked and he rolled him over the bank

And into the swirling Thames,

The universe spun at the horror he’d done,

They’d always been known as ‘friends’.

 

Lord Jimmy just floated out under a bridge,

His face to the evening sky,

A look of surprise on the lids of his eyes

As his overcoat drifted by,

His body of walnut, his fingers of pine

And his head, finely chiselled in teak,

While Bodger awoke in the skin of a bloke,

Broke his heart for the rest of the week!

 

David Lewis Paget

 

Reviews

[SINDE]

I enjoyed this piece. You turn rare topics into wonderful works of art and as usual the twist at the end was remarkable. The tale of Lord Jimmy and Bodger is unforgettable. I thought that poets of your calibre no longer tread the earth but I guess I was wrong. This is amazing!

'Lord Jimmy just floated out
under a bridge,
His face to the evening sky,
A look of surprise on the lids of
his eyes
As his overcoat drifted by,
His body of walnut, his fingers of
pine
And his head, finely chiselled in
teak,
While Bodger awoke in the skin
of a bloke,
Broke his heart for the rest of the
week!'

GREAT.

[Wendy Seames Garner]

I have a friend who is a ventriloquist, I have to share this one with her.

[Vicky Zhuang Yi-Yin]

I really like the conversation between the ventriloquist and his doll... I completely enjoyed reading this. Keep it up!

[Arielle Ann]

you somewhat remind me of Thomas Campbell and his Lord Ullin's daughter with your amazing flow and storytelling style :D Jimmy and Blodger are fantastic!!

[patricia]

humourous...I enjoyed the rythm and the geographical references. The idea was really good, and in the hands of a talented writer like you it all came to life. You are swiftly becoming a favourite of mine. Thanks.

[Mark]

I laughed out loud, where one of your reviewers said, "Just like something out of the Twilight Zone", because, you see, there actually WAS an episode of the Twilight Zone in which the ventriloquist's dummy, so accustomed to voicing the less-socially-acceptable sentiments of his handler, literally replaced him, becoming the Handler, and his former human accomplice the inert dummy!
This is so perfectly pagetine in it's construction and delivery, and as you know too well, David, I've quite exhausted my fairly extensive supply of adjectives in your praise already. Another superlatively eerie offering, old son!

[Lena M. P.]

You've spun a good tale again David! I love when you catch me up at the end. Never saw that coming. A story straight out of twilight zone.

[Tate Morgan]

I loved it the richness ofcharacter oOZES FROM YOUR WORK tHERE IS NO DENYING THE LIFE LED THAT CAME TO THE WRTING OF YOUR PIECES.aLWAYS AN HONOR TO LOOK IN HEREAT YOUR WORK .I AM LEFT THINIKING MAN i WANT TO BE THAT GOOD

[BlueDreams]

A nice write.. liked it :-)