Trip to Nowhere

The bus stood still in the cul-de-sac,

He knew it had come for him,

For the colours of day were beginning to fade

And the nights had been closing in,

He'd not been bad, as in 'terrible bad'

Was less than a good man, true!

But the bus stood still in the cul-de-sac

With the legend - 'Coming for YOU!'

 

He waited there by the myrtle hedge

Then he heard the motor catch,

The driver, he was a terrible man

With a cloak and a hood to match,

He stopped the bus with a squeal of brakes

As the doors had folded in,

And rasped, 'Hey Carcass, clamber aboard

Let the ride of your life begin!'

 

The passengers sat there two by two

All grey in the fading light,

Not one had looked at another in there

In the gloom of their present plight.

They passed the cemetery walls at dusk,

Slowed down, then drove right in,

And sank right under the ground just there

At a stop called - 'THE SEVENTH SIN!'

 

A sign outside said 'Vanity',

Another sign said 'Lust',

Most of the passengers got off there

And promptly turned to dust!

The driver laughed in the back of his throat

And thrust the bus in gear:

'We'll find a stop that will suit you more

If it takes to the end of the year!'

 

A host got off at 'Gluttony',

Another few at 'Greed',

Most of the rest at 'Envy' left

Who'd wanted more than their need.

That left but two of them seated there

On the bus that was bound for Hell,

The other guy blanched when they got to 'Sloth',

Reached up, and tinkled the bell.

 

Then just the one who'd clambered aboard

Was left with a stop to go,

He clutched a briefcase under his arm,

And yelled, 'You drive too slow!'

The driver growled, and planted his foot,

On the bus that carried the dead,

'Don't mess with me,' said the passenger,

'I've a deadline, straight ahead!'

 

The bus pulled up at the 'Anger' stop,

The driver had turned and grinned,

As the passenger paused on the outer step

He said, 'You'll see, my friend...

You'd better pick up your pension now,

Your future's in grave doubt...'

And he stepped on down at the final stop

As the flames rose round and about.

 

The Devil stood by the Welcome Mat,

All horns and tail, at his best,

Was dressed in his charming goat-hair suit

To greet his important guest.

The passenger opened his briefcase then,

Pulled papers out, and a pen,

'Just sign at the bottom, you hairy goat,

Then you can be gone again!'

 

The Devil spluttered, 'I rule this roost,

I'm sending you into the fire!'

The passenger curled his lip, said this

Was a Hostile Take-over!

'They listed you up on the Stock Exchange,

And we had sufficient clout,

There's rules, you know, of Monopolies,

And you've just been voted out.'

 

The sulphurous lake of fire went out,

And steam rose up in the dark,

'This set-up is so old-fashioned now,

We're breaking it all apart.

We've sold off 'Greed' to the Barristers,

And 'Gluttony' to Big Mac,

While 'Envy's' gone to the smaller Banks,

They know what to do with that!'

 

The Devil's tail had drooped at that,

'What is there left for me?'

'We're not inhuman,' the passenger said,

'The shareholders agreed...

They left you in charge of 'Anger' so

You can still rage up and down,

But you'll have to start wearing a business suit

If you're planning to come to town!'

 

The Devil sits at his city desk

And chews at the end of his pen,

He hasn't written so many complaints

Since God and the Lord knows when,

While over the street is the enemy,

'Gas Fires and Kitchen Sinks',

The Corporation that brought him down

Now known as 'Hellfire Inc.'

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Bubo]

I loved this twist on the Deadly sins............mingled with what our world has become, just great reading!

A sign outside said 'Vanity',

Another sign said 'Lust',

Most of the passengers got off there

And promptly turned to dust!

The driver laughed in the back of his throat

And thrust the bus in gear:

'We'll find a stop that will suit you more

If it takes to the end of the year!'

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Politicians just can't keep their hands off of anything, can they? All I can wonder is what little spot in Hellfire, Inc., will be reserved for them.

[C.T. Bailey]

Brilliantly humorous old friend! I was on board till the end. A great write David. I don't know how you come up with such orignal and creative narratives. You are the master.....
Todd