Admiral Nelson

It's just a game... isn't it?

 

When I was a child, in the Forest of Dean

We would play 'hunt deer', like a King or a Queen,

We would hide in the forest 'til the sun went down

Then hurry off in terror from old man Brown.

 

He lived in the forest in a house on a hill

And he wore torn shirts and a hat of brown twill,

He carried round a gun that he fired in the air

When he saw us picking berries in the trees up there.

 

He lived with his sister who was Emily Maude

Who had never even married, she was much too odd.

To impressionable children, a frightening pair -

He with his shotgun, she with her hair.

 

For her hair blew wild, neither brushed nor combed

And it flew all over like a witch, old crone,

But she loved little children, so our parents said,

And warned, 'stay away, 'cause she's soft in the head!'

 

On All Hallows Eve we were up in the oak

Like brave Robin Hood, I was dressed in a cloak,

An old green scarf that my mother threw out

That I thought was impressive as a camouflage coat.

 

There was Jock, Jim, Sandy, then Elaine and me

We were up in the branches, in the boughs of the tree

While down keeping watch was Ashley on the ground,

Getting tired and sleepy as the day wound down.

 

So it was, she never heard the old man come

But soon, there he was, and was carrying his gun,

And Ashley was caught by the collar of her coat

While the sounds of her screams just died in her throat.

 

He lined us all up and marched us up the hill

At the point of his gun, and against our will,

And he said, 'Aunt Emmy's set you up for a treat,

For it's All Hallow's Eve - so, all you can eat!'

 

He marched us to the house, in a cold, dark room

We could barely see each other in the dark, in the gloom

Then he sat us at a table with a stained veneer

And he called, 'Hey Emmy, all the guests are here!'

 

She slid into the room like a wraith from a mist

And we all jumped together for she scared us to bits,

But she said, 'Now, children, there is no need to fret,

Tonight we'll have a party with the best fun yet.'

 

She took young Ashley by the collar of her coat,

'You come along with me; you can help me with the joke,

Then she brought a dozen apples and a dunking pot

And we all dunked for apples if we wanted to or not.

 

She lit up all the candles in the pumpkin faces

Grinning in the dark from their hollowed out cases,

Old man Brown, he hurried out the back,

We heard him in the kitchen going clack-clack-clack.

 

Then we ate sweet cakes with icing on the top

And a bowl of green jelly that had quivered, non-stop

'Til she brought in scarves and tied them round our eyes,

And said, 'Now children, here's my little surprise!'

 

We're going to play a game called Admiral Nelson

I used to play it once with my Granddad's stepson,

I'll pass you little pieces of Nelson as we speak,

Tell me what the part is - and don't you peek!

 

She started up a chant in a high-pitched tone

While we sat in the darkness with our blindfolds on,

She sang a little story as she passed each piece,

Then we had to feel it, and it felt like grease.

 

"Admiral Nelson

Stick him in a pot,

Cook him all up

'Til he's nice and hot,

Take him out and feel him

Steady as she goes,

See if you can pick

Lord Nelson's nose."

 

Jock was the first to hold out his hand,

'It's like a little button, too small for a man!

I bet it isn't Nelson's, that's what I think!'

He passed it on to me; I agreed, with a blink.

 

"Poke him in the eye

That's covered in a patch,

Standing on the deck with

The Master of the Watch,

Try and feel the stump

Of his arm in a sling,

They took it off at Tenerife,

Feel that thing!"

 

Something heavy landed on the table just then,

'I think it's his eye, yuk, it's full of cold cream.'

Elaine started squealing -  'I must be going home,

I hate playing Nelson, and this silly pome.'

 

Then I felt something that was warm and wet still

Like skin torn from an arm or a leg, 'til

The end of the skin was the splinter of a bone,

Was it Nelson's shoulder? Well, who would have known?

 

"Admiral Nelson

Lying on the deck,

Hit by a musketball

Right by his neck,

Feel something sticky

That's coming in a flood,

All across your fingers

Nelson's blood!"

 

Then there were footsteps, Brown from the kitchen

Tipping out a pot of soup or something else with bits in,

Splashing on our faces, we'd all had enough,

We all jumped together - pulled our blindfolds off.

 

And there was Ashley, staring at the ceiling

Just the head and neck, and it sent us all reeling,

Pieces of her arms, flayed down to the bone;

We shrieked and we scattered, and we galloped on home.

 

'And Doc - that's all I can really remember,

I was just a kid then, Ashley was my sister!

About this medication now... when can I stop?

And why's all that blood dripping down your white smock?'

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Freder Fredersen (aka G..]

Very rhythmic feel. Love the twist ending. Reminded me of when I was a child in Florida, my grandmother would tell me rhyming tales about Stingy Jack and the Devil and that sort. Good memories.

I love the doctor twist at the end. The little game they played with the kids was good spooky fun. Though, I do understand that trauma. I would never play that Hallowe'en guessing game. yuck.

This was brilliant Mr. Paget. I thoroughly enjoyed it through and through.

Cheers!
GM

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Well, I've never heard of this game before, thank goodness. The grotesque ending really makes this poem a standout. Your words are always magical!

[David Lewis Paget]

I've modified it somewhat since the first posting, as readers weren't really getting that the 'pieces' being passed around were those of Ashley.
David

[Lorrie]

A very well done write. It made me think of being a little girl and being blindfolded and having to reach into different containers trying to guess what it was. Like the children in the story I was scared and have never done it again...I love the ending as well...excellent work.

[Sarah Hawkinson]

Wow that was absolutely fantastic! One of my favorites on this site for sure. Your poetry is so effortless and the rhyming is genious. I really wish I could write like that. Now to read more of your work!