Doppelgnger

We give thanks for your abundant blessings, Oh Lord!

I had seen the woman briefly on

A trip to Baden-Baden,

Where I'd gone to sell my perfumes,

And my stock of fragrant oils.

It was at the Roman Spa where she

Had briefly parked her car, and I

Just couldn't help but notice

How her hair fell into coils.

 

Then she turned her face toward me

And my heart, it almost halted,

For she had the bluest eyes that I

Had ever seen, I swear,

And her mouth was like a ruby, and it

Pouted, and it drew me,

And I followed her along the

Schiller Strasse thoroughfare.

 

But I lost her in the traffic, and I

Wandered, almost frantic,

I had looked for her forever, this,

The woman of my dreams,

Then I saw her, in the distance

In the Baden Grand Casino,

She was on the Black Jack tables

Dealing cards just like a queen.

 

Well, to make this story shorter, I

Pursued, and then I caught her,

And we fell in love and married,

Honeymooned the second week,

Then we went to Recklinghausen

Where my cousin kept a house, and

Took a barge along the old Kanal,

Our happiness complete.

 

We settled down in Essen, bought

A small Delicatessen,

And she watched the shop while I

Would do my rounds to earn my keep,

But I started hearing rumours, as you know,

They grow like tumours,

And my happiness was shattered

'Til at last, I couldn't sleep.

 

For they said that my wife, June,

Was spending every afternoon

In a bar on Friedrich Strasse,

With a man called Heinrich Krupp,

But I didn't dare to ask her,

Any more than bomb Alaska,

For the shop was doing well just then,

And sales were fairly up.

 

I wanted so to trust her, and  

In truth, and to be just, I must

Admit that she made love to me

Each evening, at our flat,

So I swallowed my suspicions

And allowed her some remissions,

How could I have even thought

That she would fool me, just like that.

 

But the day came that I saw her,

In a market, in the foyer,

But she disappeared before

I had a chance to seize my hat,

So I went back to the Deli

In a rage, and almost ready

To destroy my perfect marriage

In just twenty seconds, flat.

 

She was there behind the counter

With a smile, a bit of banter,

'Why on earth are you back here

When you're supposed to be in Hamm?'

So I stopped myself, and wavered,

'Well, you want the back porch pavered,

So I thought I'd take some time to do

A few odd tasks at home.'

 

The rumours still persisted,

All the places she was listed,

It was driving me stone crazy, though

I couldn't fault her then,

But one day she came, eyes glistening,

It seems that she'd been listening

To some of the old rumours that

Had slandered her good name.

 

She insisted that we marry, once

Again, to curb the story that she'd

Always been unfaithful,

'Will you do it for me, Kunz?'

I was proud, and so forgiving

And so happy to be living that

I told her: 'Sure! We'll tie the knot,

We'll stop their vicious tongues.'

 

So we did, right there in Essen,

And I thought we'd taught a lesson

To the rumour-mongers there who

Tried to split our happy home,

But the rumours, they persisted,

Though I thought that they'd desisted,

Now they showed me lists of sightings

Where they swore they'd seen her roam.

 

One morning, on a Monday,

I forgot, and thought it Sunday,

I came back home with the paper

Just a little before noon,

But on entering the kitchen, by

The fridge we hang the fritz in

Were two women sitting talking, and

They both looked just like June.

 

I stood and stared, dumfounded,

Bulging eyes, and jaw so grounded

But the women took to giggling,

Then fell about the room.

'Which of you is my wife June?' I said,

Both nodded in the gloom, quite red,

The one sat at the left said:

'Meet my twin, her name is Dune.'

 

'In answer to your question, we had

Quite forgot to mention, that you're

Married to us both... We share

In everything with you!'

And I couldn't tell between them

Not one shorter, not one lean one,

So I sat right there between them

Thinking: 'What's a guy to do?'

 

Now our evenings are pleasant, we

Might feed on fowl or pheasant,

Then play parlour games 'til supper,

Whether wine, or cheese and bread,

Then my June and Dune start yawning,

They start early in the morning,

So I put away my paper, say:

'I think it's time for bed!'

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Norma J. Jessee]

Who said you can't have you "Kate " & "Edith " too.
And all this time I thought you an "old fool "
I'd like to take back those words if I can,
I've just decided you're a dirty old man.

David, I love the twist in this poem. I love everything about it. I have never laughed so hard.
This tale is laced with laughing gas with a pinch of mystery at the beginning.
Absolutely amazing.

[Charles D. Moorer]

I am reminded of Herman Melville's Billy Bud and his doppleganger. This is not as ominous though, nicely done and very well written.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Delightful as always, I figured it was twins but didn't expect him to be married to both. You are so talented and creative. Great work.

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This was a wonderfully entertaining read. You entwined passion ,humor , and mystery in such away To spin this tale
from worry and fury then to belief and honor for his wife as it twist again to a great life and laughter with June and Dune. Absolutely Wonderfully captivating piece. Bravo.
Debby

[Bubo]

Oh David!
I have missed reading you, your wit, imagination and flair are so unique!

'In answer to your question, we had
Quite forgot to mention, that you're
Married to us both... We share
In everything with you!'
And I couldn't tell between them
Not one shorter, not one lean one,
So I sat right there between them
Thinking: 'What's a guy to do?'


Whats a guy to do?!
A tale that could have ended unhappily
but like a fairy tale ending everyone is happy! Such a great witty write, loved it!

[Valentine]

David, you are so funny...where in the world does your mind come up with these brilliant ideas. Two for the price of one,,,,now that is really living..God bless..Valentine

[C.T. Bailey]

What a unique ryhme scheme. This is mechanically incredible! I had to read it over because I had so much fun picking out the ryhme structure the first time through! Terrific piece as usual David. Had no idea where it was leading...I was completely wrapped up in it. Really, really liked the structure.
Todd

[Wildfleour]

Oh geez! Hilarious and terrific writing~

[Mysty Rayn]

You tell such great tales in poetry. Wonderfully done. Bravo.

[FoolsGold23]

Haha, love the pentameter, the storyline and the punch at the end. At the end of every stanza I expected it to turn sinister, but I ended up smiling happily at the turn out of things. Suprising, yes, but quite comical after the suspensful buildup. Bravo friend!~Pyrite

[Leah]

Ahh the temptations of dazzling twins. One can never get enough. I am as of now, a fan of your works dear Sir!