And - Pt. IV

…and when you were wet with

The tears of abortion, with

Rational arguments twisting your brain,

You sobbed ‘til the tears fled

In bleak desperation to

Wonder if you or the

World were insane…

   (and never will never

   have children again).

 

…and sometimes you sit and you

Cry in the shadows to

Prove to yourself that you’re really alive,

But argue it gently that he

Was quite blameless and

Buzz through the reasons for

Self to deprive…’

   (then think of the day that

   he didn’t arrive).

 

…and often you smile when

You’ve been rather quiet to

Tell me that everything’s really okay,

Then drift back to distances

Distantly travelled and

Put your emotions and

Mind on display..

   (nostalgically blue in the

   white of the day).

 

…and when you were a young girl

With dreams in the night skies and

Passionate strangers were following your sighs,

You just wished for a vivid red

Double-decker bus on the Causo, and a

Teddy bear in velvet, but

Six feet alive…

   (and a silk skirt uplifted

   while anointing your thighs).

 

David Lewis Paget