The Burglar Dog

A Poem by David Lewis Paget

A bit of fun

I have a dog called Harry,

He’s a Maltese-Poodle cross,

I don’t know how I got him -

(He saw me coming! - Of course!)

The little rat sleeps on my couch

And scatters his bones about,

His hair’s all over the washing pile

And I’m constantly kicking him out.

Then he goes for the doggy wounded look,

And lies in the sun, outside,

Rolls in the grass and the prickles, waits

For my temper to subside.

I say - ‘Who spilt the rubbish, then,

All over the kitchen floor?’

He sniffs - ‘It was the Burglar Dog.’

- Refuses to say any more.

The Burglar Dog, the Burglar Dog!

That’s all that I ever hear,

Whenever my steak goes missing

It’s the Burglar Dog, I fear.

He comes in the house while I’m in bed,

And Harry’s asleep on the couch,

Opens my packet of crinkle chips

And sneaks them out of the house.

He comes and he chews my slippers up

While Harry’s away, outside,

Performing his own ablutions

So he tells me - Bless my eyes!

Crapping all over the garden path

Where I walk, no doubt it’s him!

‘Not me - must be the Burglar Dog!

You must have let him in!’

I’ve never seen this Burglar Dog

But I’m going to lie in wait,

Set up my digital camera then,

And catch this dog in the act;

But if it happens to be pure white,

All fluffy and one foot tall,

Harry will have some explaining to do -

Or I’ll take away his ball(s)!

David Lewis Paget

© 2012 David Lewis Paget

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Featured Review

Claire in VA

Hooray! I love it! I am a huge dog fan, a fan of your meter, and a fan of your topics;
this is right up my alley. What a fun read to end my work day on a Friday!
Is Harry real, and is he yours? By the way, right now as I write this, a pop-up
ad is annoying me; the ad has a picture of a fluffy, short, white dog.
How coincidental!
Much-loved by Claire! I had a huge, goofy smile all the way through!