The Character

I’d got to the final editing

Of my manuscript, last night,

When one of the characters in the gloom

Popped up, he wanted a fight.

‘That isn’t the way I see myself,

This storyline must cease,

Look at the way you blackened my name,

I’m the villain of the piece.’

‘You are what I said you are,’ I said,

‘Don’t bring your complaints to me,

If I’d not written you into the plot

Then you wouldn’t even be.’

‘You writers are just so arrogant,’

He said, not blinking an eye,

‘You make such a mess of people’s lives,

And don’t even tell them why.’

‘I needed a villain,’ I replied,

‘I thought it best be you,

I don’t consult with my characters

When telling them what to do.’

‘That’s just the point,’ said Barry O’Flynn,

‘You sign each life away,

So why did you give me an Irish name,

Put me in the I.R.A?’

‘You made me a Catholic too,’ he said,

‘I’m really an atheist,’

‘Well, how could I have possibly known?’

He said, ‘That’s why I’m pissed!

You’ve made the gorgeous Caroline Cam

Be in love with the hero, Kim,

I don’t think he’s that much of a man,

So why couldn’t I be him?’

Caroline Cam popped up at that

And said, ‘It isn’t fair,

You’ve given me that freckly skin

That goes with orange hair!’

I said, ‘All right, all bloody right,

I’ll let you have your way,

But both of you will totally screw

My plot, whatever I say.’

Now Caroline is a lush brunette

And is going with O’Flynn,

While Kim is in the I.R.A.

And soon will be shooting him.

While Caroline’s in the dungeon with

The rats of Castle Clare,

That Kim would once have saved her from,

Now change that, if you dare!

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Pragati Chaudhary]

Hahahahahaha That sounds so funny and mesmerizing at the same time. wonderful

[A Soap Mess Stories]

When characters argue with the writer...good plot...well written...

[Avinash]

The characters should never negotiate with the writer. If they do then they are only courting with their own doom.

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed this tale. Thank you my friend for sharing your words and thoughts. I have enjoyed your words and thoughts. Have a fun and safe New Year.
Coyote

[Devin Gates]

Wow, very clever stuff here! It's funny how character sort of comes to life, and starts inquiring the reason for its existence.

It's almost like when people ask "God" about their meaning for living. Clever, clever.

[Ardra]

some how made me think of us Humans in the play...and the god who masters the play as we complain to him about our daily life.. :)
thanks to E. for asking me to check out this one..

I enjoyed reading your work

[Einstein Noodle]

ahahahahaha you are the master sir ...what a great story for all ..but O'Flynn and Caroline ..a jolly good laugh it is for me sir! the irony superb and uplifting humor ..great stuff says i!
E.

[Barbz]

I really enjoyed this poem, David, and it brought back memories of a poem that I wrote years ago, when I was introducing elementary school children to poetic expression, but, of course, far less masterful than yours. But, like yours, the "changelings" were also invading my brain!! LOL! Barbz