Astrakanz

The life and the soul of the party

He was always cracking jokes,

Ever so hale and hearty

When he hung with other blokes.

We all thought he had a funny name,

Have you heard of Astrakanz?

Neither had we, but joked that he

Had an uncle, Cola Cans.

We didn’t know where he came from

He was mute when we asked him that,

Somebody said a planet which

Had been known as Astrakat,

All that he said was, ‘What of you,

Have you read Omar Khayyam?’

When we said no, he said, ‘I know

Exactly who I am.’

He came across as a mystery

But he made it sound like fun,

And though he often was wistful, he

Would carry an x-ray gun.

He said that he used it only

For looking for kidney stones,

And sometimes checking for aliens,

For aliens had no bones.

He seemed a favourite with our wives

Who said that he was well hung,

Then somebody said that he should be,

From a maple tree, or gum.

When he passed the cake at parties

He would say, ‘from Astrakanz,

This is the only cake you’ll get

Not touched by human hands.’

And then one night at a Barbecue

There had been a Moon eclipse,

When out of the sky from nowhere

Came a couple of alien ships.

He said, ‘Well fellas, I have to go

Now they’ve come for me, my fans,’

Then waving, as he clambered aboard,

‘All the best, from Astrakanz!’

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good ending to the story. I liked the positive ending. You create good situation and I liked Astrakanz. Thank you David for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[T.S. Sky]

This is a cool supernatural read.

[Tony Jordan]

I wonder if he and David Bowie swapped holiday homes?
I love the surreal witticisms in this David. An enjoyable wee jaunt with the man from the French film festival.
:DD