The One-Eyed Witch

Lavern lived down in the valley

Away from the village folk,

She didn’t want to be seen by them

Playing with eggs and yolk,

And skin of frog, an old dead dog

A toad and the eye of newt,

She only conjured them in the fog

When dressed in her birthday suit.

But I would see her abroad in the woods

From up in the old oak tree,

She flitted naked under a hood

Albeit most carelessly,

She liked to gather her toadstools there

And take her favourite bat,

Clinging onto her long, dark hair

And follow her magical cat.

The mushrooms grown in a Faery Ring

Were an ever present danger,

For goblins gathered them all themselves

For a goblin baby’s manger,

She’d lost an eye in a goblin pie

When he reached on out and plucked it,

She got it back, but the dwarf was sly

In the sauce she’d used, he’d ducked it!

I didn’t mind that she’d got one eye

For her thighs were well developed,

I thought I’d marry her, by and by,

Then she went with Rodney Mellop,

I wandered up to her window-sill

When I heard his sighs and moans,

I thought they must have been making love,

She was hanging up his bones.

I must admit that it calmed me down,

That it put a damper on it,

I’d watched him lie in her pot and drown 

As she danced in a pretty bonnet,

His bones she pulled from the boiling stew

And made wind chimes from his femurs,

At night they sound like a xylophone

In a madhouse full of dreamers.

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

what a fine laugh you have given me this morning .. the eyes of men are a tempting thing .. he's lucky he spied a stronger deterant as;
"She was hanging up his bones."
lots of great lines ..glad I didn't miss this one sir!
E.

[sinNsincerity]

Such a great poem that took me back to my Children's Lit. class. Great job David.

[Paul Bell]

You sort of read this, and think. I was going down to the woods today. But suddenly my bottle has gone.
Great poem.

[tanmay7551]

Very interesting and refreshing poetry!

[wordman]

great,this would make a great nursery rhyme

[rowanfaet]

This is a fabulous write. I loved it!

[HeyJadeXO]

very lighthearted and fun .Thank you for the read !

[Valentine]

You cracked me up with this one. Loved it. That was one way for her to keep Rodney with her. Still laughing. Valentine