The Share

The flats were old and the rooms were cold

But I didn’t have much choice,

I hadn’t the money for anything else

Since the spat I had with Joyce,

I’d walked the streets for almost a day

Just to find a place to stay,

When I finally found a flat to rent

The building was old and grey.

Dust was grimed on the windowsill

And mud was tramped in the hall,

Whatever was left of the carpet there

You just couldn’t see at all,

The caretaker in the bottom flat

Handed out the do’s and don’ts,

The rent on time on the topmost line,

Ahead of the wills and won’ts.

I didn’t know it was partly share

Till I’d paid, and taken the key,

Until I entered the bathroom there

And found there was more than me.

A woman sat there, painting her nails

Come in from the flat next door,

Said, ‘You’re my share?’ as she patted her hair,

‘You’d better prepare, there’s more.’

We not only shared the bathroom there

But the key to the only Loo,

There was only a single kitchen there

And it looked like we shared that too,

I wasn’t impressed, was more than depressed

And I kept on thinking of Joyce,

How could I sink so low, I thought,

But she didn’t give me a choice.

I lay in bed the following morn,

Lay in till a quarter-past two,

Why should I get up early when

There was nothing I had to do.

I thought I’d cook me a rasher or two,

Some eggs, and a slice of bread,

Till I walked out into the kitchen, then

And into a land of dread.

There were bats hung over the fireplace,

And a great big pot on the hob,

And something thin that had just been skinned

Lay over an iron knob.

There were piles of bones on the platter board

And some fingers left on a plate,

Their rings were on but the hand was gone,

Off to a dismal fate.

I whirled about in despair, in case

Someone was stalking me,

And checked the grate of the fireplace

Where the ashes glowed redly,

The pot was bubbling on the hob

And some things that looked like ears,

Kept bobbing up to the surface 

Like some headless bombardiers.

I spun away to the kitchen sink

And I gazed into its depths,

Peered on in with a single blink

And I fought to keep my breath,

For staring up was a grinning skull

As the girl I saw last night,

Came leaping in like a beast of sin

And I lost my appetite.

‘It isn’t what you might think,’ she said,

‘I should have warned you, right!

We use this room for the local Rep

To rehearse their play tonight.

I set it up for the witches scene,

It’s only a plastic skull,

And plastic bats and toy skinned-cats,

Want to eat?’ I said ‘I’m full!’

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Celie Rose]

Wow!.. you really had me going! I cringed as I read the description of contents in the kitchen. I really thought she was a witch having/preparing a ghoulish meal.....totally unexpected ending. What a relief that it was only a witches scene.. rehearsal for a play. Great story...Keep writing.

[ANTO]

"The rent on time on the topmost line,
Ahead of the wills and won’ts..." - so true the world over.

"the ashes glowed redly..." - DLP at his word-smithing best !! Class !

Very very witty rhymes my friend.

[Workvio]

Wow! ... David, this made for a delightfully entertaining read over coffee this morning, and I truly did enjoy every tidbit to the very last word of the very last line ... Now I'm off to the start of good day, a chuckle under my belt and a whistle upon my lips ... But ... I seem to have lost my appetite ...LOL!