The Icing on the Cake

When Kelvin threatened to cut my throat

I thought him a little stressed,

We’d known each other for twenty years

The first ten were the best,

But I was married to Jill back then

Way back before the divorce,

Then Kelvin lunged, and married her when

Our marriage had run its course.

He seemed to think I was jealous then,

He thought he had hurt my pride,

I thought that our friendship might be saved

Despite his second-hand bride,

‘Why would I want her back,’ I said,

Hoping to reassure,

But he obsessed and was quite distressed

Each time I came to his door.

‘Keep well away from my wife,’ he said,

As if I’d not had enough,

‘What do you think a divorce is, Kel?

I’m finished with all that stuff.’

‘You had your time, you should keep away,

I know that you want her still…’

‘As much as I’d want a hole in the head,

You have to believe me, Kel.’

But he just circled the wagons round

Trying to keep her from me,

I’d been quite happy to put her down

Then live my life and be free,

He’d never heard the old saw that said

That to make her yours, let her go,

If she comes back home, then she’s yours my friend,

But if not, she wasn’t you know.

I saw Jill out in the supermart

And her face was lined and drawn,

I tried to hide by the Brussel Sprouts

But she caught me up by the lawn.

She seemed determined to seek me out,

To see if I looked like hell,

Was disappointed when I looked round

And said I was doing well.

‘I’m not,’ she said, and a tiny tear

Appeared, to roll down her cheek,

‘He never leaves me alone, I fear,

I’ve been locked in for a week.’

I waved my hand, tried to get away

‘Your life is not my concern,’

Then she clung onto my arm and cried,

‘I don’t know which way to turn!’

And that’s when Kelvin himself appeared

And threatened to cut my throat,

It looked as if I had interfered

‘And that,’ I said, ‘is a joke!’

But Jill still clung to my arm beside

The beans, and packets of stew,

‘I wish we hadn’t divorced,’ she said,

‘It was so much better with you.’

You’d think a friendship of twenty years

Could overcome such a jest,

But Kelvin suddenly burst in tears

And beat a riff on my chest.

I’ll soon get over the broken ribs

And the eye, with a lump of steak,

But Kel’s still married to Jill, thank god,

That’s the icing on the cake.

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

I felt sorry and a bit afraid for Jill. If Kel beats his best friend up... what does he do to....
Aside from that, as has already been said, this is a wonderful poem. The rhythm and rhyming is impeccable and the story engaging. Thanks for sharing. :)

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Didn't expect the ending. . .a pleasure to read. . .

[andrew mitchell]

very clever david and so well written again lol

[Valentine]

You are so clever. That last line was 'icing on the cake' for your readers. Great one David. Valentine

[R Smith]

the icing indeed David, I bet he was so glad to be free of her but Kelvin! What a nightmare he is, another fine tale of drama and jealousy your stories I think will one day fill volumes of books and be retold again and again, great writing my friend :)

[ANTO]

Ouch ' second hand bride' - what a line.

"He’d never heard the old saw that said
That to make her yours, let her go,
If she comes back home, then she’s yours my friend,
But if not, she wasn’t you know." - masterful word arranging, your are a composer of literal symphonies David, mate.

I often wonder about the saying that some people dredge up (mostly when they are in a good place in their lives and I am not) - "We are where we are meant to be."
Maybe Kel's dark side had attracted Jill - who seems a tad unhinged too. Our man, Brussels Sprouts guy is well shot of the two of them.

Humour in tragedy DLP, as only you can deliver.

[Jane Winters Rogers]

Hahahahaha!this is one of the most playful, funny poems I have read of yours!!!LOL....everything you write comes to life, like it's really happening... the characters are real...,...( hiding behind the Brussel Sprouts) she,lol' wanting to see if you looked like hell.....that probably always happens. (The "scoping each other out" vanity!!! Which one looks best, hahaha .....I love this it's above and beyond honesty...looking on the bright side of life......hum ....and moving on....free to live your life.

[Willard Wells]

Why others think we want them back is beyond me. Love or hate it did not work and I do not want to attempt it again. Very nicely done.

[Avinash]

This one was quite entertaining. The relationships can become like a tough maze and there is no way out. I am glad that you survived..few broken ribs not withstanding. Can happen to anyone :)

[A.marie.speaks]

Really enjoyed reading this. I love the way you tell a whole story inside your poems, it is wonderful! The title/ending line fits perfectly. Great work, as usual!